my semi-charmed life

to Jude, on your first birthday

2010-08-26T20:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Jude,

It's amazing that you've only been in our lives for one short year, but on the other hand it feels like you've been with us forever. It's hard to remember what life was like without you; you bring us so much joy, so many happy tears, and a whole new perspective on how our Heavenly Father loves us. We've had to change: become less selfish, more flexible, and more loving. Oh, so much more love... it's like you opened the door to a whole new room in our hearts called "love for Jude" that we didn't even know existed... and it's a HUGE room! The moment we met you face-to-face for the first time was an amazing, life-changing, beautiful, holy moment. Daddy sang and Mama cried. Even the nurses and midwife cried. You were the only one who wasn’t crying!

Those first days in the hospital were pivotal for us as a family. There was one evening when you were struggling to regulate your blood sugar and not doing so well, that night was the point where we realized, in sharp focus, that you belong more to the Lord than to us, and just how much we, as your parents, needed to lean on our Heavenly Father to carry us through this journey of parenting you. We knew how inadequate we were- and ARE- but that we could do it... it was God's grace that poured down and met us there in the hospital room as we cried out to Him for wisdom, strength, and His power for each moment. It was at that point that we really became parents, and our family was formed.

And this lifelong journey has had an incredible beginning. This first year has gone by so fast, but it still feels like we're just getting to know you. Every night when we lay you down in your crib, we sing "Amazing Grace" because it's only by the grace of our loving Heavenly Father that you have been born to us, sweet son. You are a reminder of His past and future grace to us, Jude. We are humbled and proud to be your parents. So we look back with so much amazement and gratitude.

But we're also looking forward... no, we're especially looking forward. There are days ahead of us that will be hard, days that will end up being our sweetest memories, days that are ordinary and yet magical. As your personality begins to emerge and we get to know your likes and dislikes, preferences, and little quirks, we're hit with the reality that even now, as small as you still are, we are building a relationship with a little person. You're so much more than a "charge", like a dog or a cat. You are even now being shaped... a baby who will all too soon become a boy, who will then become a man. A man that we hope with all our hearts will have an all-consuming thirst for God, a love for his fellow men, a rich relationship with us, a love and partnership with a wife, and a loving care for his own children. It's a heavy responsibility, but an amazingly exciting one, to grow a man.

Really, it's a journey of letting go... starting from birth, to taking your first independent steps, going to school, driving a car, moving into your own place, getting married and starting your own little family, if those are things that God has for you. Our responsibility is to prepare you for these things by pointing you to your Heavenly Father so you can seek Him and hear His voice to you... and to let you go to follow Him.

Life will be hard, and there will be disappointments, loss, and heartache. We don't pretend to know all the answers, but we long to talk through the night with you as we seek the One who is weaving your story of His grace. We can't wait to tell you about the wonders found in Christ... of grace, mercy, forgiveness, justice, truth, holiness, love, and glory. Each one of these words carries much weight and meaning to us personally as they have transformed our lives and the way we love each other. We want you to see the real us, not as perfect parents who "know best", but as flawed humans in need of grace and forgiveness, even as we walk in the sin-killing power of the Holy Spirit.

If there are only two things that you learn from us, let them be that God is always working FOR you, and we will always love you no matter what. Seek righteousness, revel in forgiveness. We're in this life together, son... and we are with you at the foot of the cross, where we pray that you will always find yourself.

As you watch this video, listen carefully to the words of this song; there are many rich word pictures, and the story it tells paints a vivid picture of our heart for you as you grow into a young man fighting your way in faith through this world.

Jude: Year One from Rob Hulson on Vimeo.

"Lesson one - do not hide
Lesson two - there are right ways to fight
And if you have questions
We can talk through the night

So you know who you are
And you know what you want
I've been where you're going
And it's not that far
it's too far to walk
But you don't have to run
you'll get there in time

Lesson three - you're not alone
Not since I saw you start breathing on your own
You can leave, you can run, this
will still be your home

So you know who you are
And you know what you want
I've been where you're going
And it's not that far
it's too far to walk
But you don't have to run
you'll get there in time
Get there in time

In time, to wonder where the days have gone
In time, to be old enough to
wish that you were young
When good things are unraveling,
bad things come undone
You weather love and lose your innocence

There will be liars and
thieves who take from you
Not to undermine the consequence
But you are not what you do
And when you need it most
I have a hundred reasons why I love you

If you weather love and lose your innocence
Just remember - lesson one"

And lastly, never forget the words that end your namesake book of the Bible:

"Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." (Jude 24-25)

We love you, Son.

~ Daddy and Mama

up and down

2010-08-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

Remember the entry I posted a while back wherein I bemoaned the fact that Jude wasn't eating much? Yeah well, things have changed.

Just this morning he gobbled up:

a 5 ounce bottle of homemade formula
half a banana
one cup of whole-milk yogurt
about 3 tablespoons-ish of ground turkey
half a cup of applesauce
1/4 cup of tapioca pudding
half a whole-wheat organic toaster waffle (that he's still working on)

And it's not even 9 am yet! I don't know where he's putting it all; he's still, as his doctor says, "long and lean". All the crawling and walking attempts/practice must be hard work! Huh, maybe I should try it instead of running for exercise? haha

Speaking of, I've been upping the ante lately; my runs are longer (20 minutes non-stop with no- walk breaks today!) and I'm lifting heavier weights during my Ripped workouts. I'm definitely feelin' it. I'm about to start a 3 month Ripped challenge with some online friends and I'm feeling excited! I'm also thinking about doing a juice cleanse and then going vegetarian for a week or two after that, just to give myself another kick in the pants as I start off my Autumn routine.

Gosh, I'm starting to sound like my life revolves around food and its effects. Hrm... it kinda does. And I don't even really like to cook. haha

nostalgia, part one

2010-08-17T07:03:00.000-07:00

So wow, it's August! Erm, it's actually past the middle of August... the 17th, to be exact. Last year on this day I was 10 days away from going through one of the most horribly painful, life-altering, and wonderful experiences of my life, but I didn't know it yet. I was blissfully unaware of the deep valley I was about to go through, and ignorant of the love-explosion that was about to happen. I was still worried that I "wouldn't love Jude" (oh I laugh at myself now) because I'm really not much of a "baby person".

What's amazing to me is how much I've changed. Not just in the obvious way- of course I love my son. And that is a dramatic understatement. It's like the day he was born a door in my heart was opened to reveal a whole room that I didn't have before... my heart actually grew a whole new section. (Figuratively, of course. No extra aortic chambers here) So that's the obvious way in which I've changed, and while it seems obvious now as I look back (duh, I'm going to love the heck outta that baby) it was so new and scary and I was so skeptical *before* I had him. I'm positive it was the grace of God that I have this vast amount of love for him now. And boy am I glad, because you kind of need vast amounts of love to make it through all the crap babies can throw at you. Literally and figuratively. ;)

The not-so-obvious ways in which I've changed are harder to put my finger on; harder to define in so many words. I'm more tender, more attuned to others' suffering, more responsible (ha), more sensitive to emotional pain, and more patient with things that would have driven me batty before, it's like I have this well of patience inside me that amazes me... I often think to myself "why am I even able to deal with this right now??" I know all these things aren't fundamentally from ME, they are gifts of the Holy Spirit as he works on changing me from the inside. And boy, did I need changing. Do. Still DO need changing.

That's another thing that this parenting gig is bringing out- just how selfish I really am. I mean, it's not like I always just LOVE making baby meals 4x a day, cleaning up hands, face, hair, highchair tray, table, floor, walls, etc. after each meal, changing the 3rd poopy diaper of the day- at noon, worrying over whether he getting enough food, etc, etc, etc. There are definitely times when I think back fondly on the years of just "R&R" (without the "J") and wish we could be that carefree again, and sometimes I begrudge the day-in, day-out tasks of my chosen career. It's never been more obvious to me just how much I need *continual* changing, by the power of the Holy Spirit. It's just been so interesting and amusing to me to watch the Lord use my 'lil Jude-man as that agent of change.

And a cute little agent he is, dontcha think?

on freedom

2010-08-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

When my last post about guilt cross-posted over on Facebook, I got a lot of comments agreeing and sympathizing with me. One of my friends (hi Lindsay!) said "Guilt.Guilt.Guilt. I live with it daily. I would love to be FREE from it.
Please, oh please." Her use of the word "free" really hit me, and I started mulling over the concept of freedom and what it means to be truly set free from something.. in this case, a crippling mindset.

I wrote in the FB comments: "Honestly, I don't want to come under condemnation for 'how good I am' or 'what I do', because that is just NOT from Christ. It's self-imposed. And I'm the only one measuring me against some unrealistic ideal woman-mother-wife that lives in my head. (She has a flat tummy, by the way. haha) And I really don't want to be characterized by feeling guilty about what I'm 'supposedly' failing in. What a killjoy, huh?"

I think the thing is that I am imposing this guilt-complex on myself. No one tells me I'm doing a bad job as a mother or a wife (or friend, or daughter, or sister... the list goes on). In fact, I hear the opposite 100x more often that I ever hear any whisper of missed expectations from anyone. It's all in my head. That same friend also commented "I compare myself to "PerfectWoman" all the time. The thing is, I take bits of "perfection" that various friends have, then combine them all into SuperWoman and expect myself to live up to her. It's not easy to let that go." So we make up a composite woman who has every skill we think we need, then come under self-imposed guilt when we don't live up to PerfectWoman.

So that's the crippling mindset. Where does freedom come in? My friend Johanna wrote: "And also? There is therefore now NO condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. So take that fail/guilt!" There is a difference between condemnation and conviction. As I've been thinking about this, I think that condemnation is this self-imposed guilt that I've been battling and talking about here. It's not *only* self-imposed, it can come from others too (more on that later, maybe!), but in my case, it's all me, baby. It's me telling myself that I'm not living up to something that I'm simply not called to live up to, Biblically speaking. I think that conviction, on the other hand, is from the Holy Spirit and points out the places where I'm not living up to what I AM called to do... like say, live peaceably with all men, or any number of Scriptural mandates. The hard part is figuring out which one I'm feeling at the moment. Sometimes it's clear to me in my head, and sometimes it's really confusing. And understanding is only half the battle, the other half is actually pulling out of the fog of feelings. Reminding myself of scripture verses helps, listening to friends speak the truth is a huge help for me too. Sometimes I just have to beg God for grace in the moment to get me out of the slump, and keep me out. And He will... He does. It was for freedom that we were set free!

I know I've quoted this song here before, but I can't get over how good it is... the message of freedom- freedom FROM my sinful self-centeredness, and freedom TO confidence, love, joy, and peace- is HOPE, even for selfish, whiny, self-condemning people like me.

Derek Webb's Lover. Watch it.

Lyrics | Derek Webb - Lover lyrics

My favorite verse is the last:

"I am my beloveds and my beloved's mine
so you bring all your history and I'll bring the bread and wine
and we'll have us a party where all the drinks are on me
then as surely as the rising sun you will be set free "

It's just humbling and amazing to me that His blood + body are for ME right now, and continuously, as I struggle through the daily ins and outs of life, not just for "my past". That's power and promise that changes me from my fog of self-centeredness, (*whine, whine* "I'm not doing everything right" "I'm not PerfectWoman!" *whine whine*) guilt, and shame, to humble confidence that my God is (right now!) supplying what I need to do what He as asked me to do. He is enough. And that brings me freedom.

(Now I need to remember this "preaching to myself" post tomorrow- when PerfectWoman appears in my mind again, wearing heels and an apron around her 25-inch waist, pulling rack of lamb out of the oven!)

on guilt

2010-07-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday morning and I'm catching up on my blog reader (qualifier- we go to church on Saturday nights). Yes, I felt the need to put a qualifier; you'll understand after your read the rest of this post. I came across this post from OMG Mom about "mommy guilt". Go read it then come back and read the rest of this post, it will make so much more sense.

Read it? Okay, good... carrying on then. All I can say is that I TOTALLY relate. Why do we do it to ourselves? I have no idea, but that guilt is almost always there, no matter which option I take. Illustration: Just yesterday Jude flat-out refused to eat or take his bottle except for a little bit in the morning. The day before at his 9-month checkup (which I was 2 months late for. GUILT) our doctor lectured me that he needs to eat more/more often. GUILT. But then my sensible side kicked in and I wanted to ask if *she* has a picky 11-month old. (No. she is a single, successful young doctor and is obviously rolling in dough. Hate) So when Jude wouldn't "EAT, dammit"... I got mad. Really, really mad. I didn't scream at him or anything, but he knew I was mad because I was banging plates and slamming cupboard doors like a 5-year-old. GUILT. So then what happens later that night? He comes down with a raging fever. Turns out he wasn't being obstinate and making my life miserable by not eating his peas like I thought (really? an 11-month old?), but he was getting sick. GUILT. I got mad at a sick baby for not eating. SHAME.

So I'm trying to make it better today by only giving him his favorite foods (bananas + yogurt) and not making him finish it, but THAT is making me feel guilty because I keep seeing Rich Single Doctor in the back of my mind shaking her head and writing notes on Jude's chart as she observes my failure to include protein. GUILT.

So now I'm eating a piece of toasted banana bread in bed from Starbucks, even though I still have 15 lbs. of pregnancy weight to lose. GUILT. And I just got a text from my good pal Johanna about the freaking *triathlon* she was in this morning. She's down 40 lbs. from her pre-preggo weight and her baby is only 6 weeks older than mine. FAIL. GUILT.

I can't win.

But I can do makeup really well, for what THAT'S worth.

last week...

2010-07-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

...was a very good week. The time spent with my parents was so much fun, and non-stop action! It's kind of amazing to me how my parents, at nearly 60ish, can outlast Rob and I- and Jude- but they can, almost every time. They're pretty much the busiest, most productive, go-go-go people I know. I love their drive and purposefulness and vision of life, God, and family. I get excited around them, i feel like life just has so much potential, and the possibilities are endless. Inspiring and tiring!

We kicked off their visit with a BBQ in our common area with our small group and some new friends. Can't go wrong with burgers, beers, and buddies. (Okay yeah, that was cheesy, I admit)

In the middle of the week, we took a roadtrip "up north" to Duluth for a two-nights' stay in a historic home. While we were there, we toured the Glensheen Mansion, a gigantic turn-of-the-century mansion (so. awesome.), walked along the shore of Lake Superior, watched one of the biggest barges on the Lake go under a bridge (quite the local spectacle), and spent our relatively lazy evenings on the screened-in porch eating various organic local offerings from the "Whole Foods" down the street. (I quote the name because while they were called Whole Foods, they were not part of the national chain, and made a point to make that known)

Mom and I also found time to hit up various consignment stores while she was here (of course!) and we both came away with some stellar finds. I got something like 10 items for about $20, including a brand-new pair of Ralph Lauren trouser jeans, and Mom did even better. Plus, it's always more fun shopping with her than going alone!

I ran across a Groupon for 1/2 off a dinner cruise on Lake Minnetonka (just southeast of the Twin Cities area) so we concluded the week with a narrated cruise while munching on delicious fajitas and gawking at the multi-billion dollar mansions on the shoreline. Such fun!

My favorite snapshot of the week was taken on the deck of the dinner-cruise yacht:

I already miss them.

I'm not a blogger...

2010-07-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

...and I'm finally coming to terms with it.

Really though, every time I think "oh that would be a fun thing to blog about" I actually just end up Tweeting it, which automatically posts it to Facebook, where I get loads of comments and interaction... and that does it for me. But then when I do actually want to post a blog entry, I am immediately filled with guilt about how much time has passed since I last blogged (hmm, reminds me of my journaling habits) and I feel compelled to explain why I haven't posted anything in... 6 months? I And I really don't like blogging about blogging. Or not blogging, as the case may be. :P

AT ANY RATE, here I am now. I'm taking it easy this morning while Jude is down for his morning nap and Rob is at work; I spent yesterday in a cloud of dust, cleaning supplies, and decorations in preparation for my parents' visit. They got here yesterday afternoon on a plane that was an hour and a half late, forcing me to waste 5 gallons of gas circling the baggage claim before giving up and parking, wasting 6 dollars and an hour trying to keep a curious and tired 10-month-old happy in a crowded, dirty airport. But that's another story.

I pulled a fast one on my folks and had our small group over for a cookout last night, which they helped with, and seemed to enjoy, despite being up since 4 am. They really are good sports! After everyone left, we sat out on our deck admiring the sunset while Rob read a bit from one of his latest favorite books, Notes From The Tilt-O-Whirl. Then we decided to be super-spiritual and watch Jim Gaffigan... but not before watching a selection from the Beatles Anthology; the video of their live broadcast of "All You Need Is Love" (and flowers in your hair, apparently).

It was a lovely evening, but I think we wore my parents out because it's 10:15 am and they are still sleeping, which is unheard of. My mom is usually up with the birds, and my dad almost always makes a coffee run before Mom gets up. But I do have to remember that it's two hours later here than it is in Nevada, so to them it's only 8:15. Rob and I kept Jude sufficiently quiet when he woke up at 7:30 (thank you, God- a sleep-in morning for me!) and now he's already been zonked out for an hour. As is obvious, I casually sashayed over to this dusty old blog to see if anything creative sprang to mind to share with the faceless masses on the nebulous blob that is The Internet.

We have lots of fun things planned for the week; tomorrow we're heading up to Duluth for two nights, then dashing home in time for Rob to make Saturday evening worship practice and church, I have a wedding on Sunday for which I am doing the makeup on a LOVELY bride and several bridesmaids at a gorgeous historic mansion, then on Monday we're going to explore Lake Minnetonka and gawk at all the muli-million dollar houses, finishing the evening off with dinner aboard a yacht. 'Twill be a lovely, busy week! We may even have to squeeze a trip to the zoo in there somewhere, too.

I love that I have so much fun with my parents; they are getting cooler and even more fun the older I get... or am I getting older and less cool? Either way, we love hanging out together and talking about God, life, trials, encouragements, and the occasional glass of good wine. I saw this on Postsecret a few weeks ago, and had it saved in an open browser window on my iPhone since then... I was planning on emailing it to my mom, but it really fits this post well:

It's true, it really is.

And now, I'm going to go make avocado toast and coffee, then get ready to go check out a sale at TurnStyle (local consignment chain) and maybe hit Trader Joe's for Duluth-trip snacks. Greek yogurt, perhaps?

Until next time, my friends!

nine months

2010-05-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

Thirty-eight and a half weeks ago:

Thirty-nine weeks ago:

Now:

Nine months is a big milestone in my mind. It's exactly the length of time that Jude was alive *inside* of me, and today he's been breathing air *outside* of me for exactly nine months. It's just a special date to me. To celebrate, he got his first tooth a few days ago! The funny thing is, it's not a bottom center tooth, not a top center tooth, but a top *side* tooth. Yep, little Mr. Snaggletooth! It's really cute and quirky... I'd share a picture IF he would let me take one. But every time he shows it off when he's laughing, I reach for the camera and his lips clamp together in an airtight -and mama's fingers tight- seal. So, no dice. I'll have to tag-team it with Rob so one of us can make him giggle and the other can stealthily snap the photo. I can see the corresponding tooth on the other side about to come in, too... AND it looks like the center two are not far behind. Overachiever.

In other news, Rob is deep in the midst of writing his last papers, sermons, outlines, summaries, and book reviews for BCS. Today he had his last class (YAY!) and tonight at the stroke of midnight his last paper is due. It's been rough around here; he was at the resource center at the BBC downtown campus until 3:30am a few nights ago, then last night he pulled a serious all-nighter, I came out at 8am and he was still in the same spot that I had left him 8 hours before. (yes, I sleep in late. So does Jude. Most of the time) Currently, Rob is at the resource center finishing one of his 20-page papers on Edwards, or worship, or the book of Acts. I hope to see him before I go to bed. That man has been so hard-working, I can't believe it. BCS has been harder on him than we imagined; he started the first year off by being late to the kick-off picnic because we had just rolled into town after driving all night and day back from Oklahoma for his grandma's funeral. The first day of class this year was August 27th. Yes, the day of Jude's big debut. So Rob has always felt a day late and a dollar short. But he has absolutely made the best of it, despite working three jobs equalling 35+ hours a week on top of his full load of classes. Shew! And all I did was grow, birth, and have 24/7 care of a helpless human being. To say we've had a busy few years would be an understatement. :)

I was talking to my Dad tonight, and he and my Mom have been doing some "inventory" of their own. He told me that in the last 10 years they have been to Africa to preach/teach five times, buried all four of their parents, married off their daughter (who moved half-way across the country), saw all their sons leave the proverbial nest (and also move far away), and remodeled two houses from top to bottom. While pastoring a church. Good grief, my parents NEVER slow down. And I love them for it.

I'm really excited about the next phase of life, not only for us, but also for my parents and my brothers. We're all in places of transition right now, and it's a little scary, a lot risky, and- since Jesus is our anchor- very exciting.

Even though Rob is done with all the official BCS work, he does have 4 more classes that he will be taking; he is in the Worship Concentration, and these four classes weren't offered earlier. The standard schedule for these classes is one per semester for another two years, but Rob is talking with the professors to see if there's any way we can consolidate that into just one more calendar year. So, if all goes well, we will be totally and completely DONE and graduated at this time next year. Which means... well, it means a lot of things. All along we have been asking God to show us just enough "light" for each step as we take it, and right now, the step after BCS graduation isn't lit up. But we're fairly sure a move from Minneapolis is most likely in the works. Where to? No idea. haha, I love this risk thing! Until then, this summer is going to full of relaxation, day trips (dangit, we are GOING to Duluth!), family visits, and plenty of BBQ's and late-night stargazing. Starting tomorrow.

Bring it.

today, I am grateful.

2010-03-23T09:47:00.001-07:00

I'm grateful that I get to change Jude's poopy diaper. Again. And again.

I'm grateful that I didn't get to rest this afternoon because he took a short nap. I heard his happy baby sounds only 45 minutes after I put him down, not after an hour and a half, like usual.

I'm grateful that I have a big hamper full of dirty baby clothes and spit-up stained cloths to lug down 4 flights of stairs to the wash.

I'm grateful for his new-found skill of rocking back and forth on all fours, his face beaming up at me like he has just climbed a mountain, because for him, he has.

I'm grateful that he can see with his blue eyes, hear with his perfectly flat little ears, move his chubby little baby arms and legs, and can make noise (oh the noise!) with his fat little lips.

I don't want to take these "common mercies" for granted. I know that laundry and poopy diapers and crying babies aren't the most thrilling things, and they are definitely not the first things that come to mind when I "count my blessings". But there are some mothers who long for these things and do not have them... like my friend Jane whose firstborn has Cerebral Palsy and will never walk... or my friend Sarah who delivered her firstborn at 20 weeks, feeling his tiny kicks all through her agonizingly early labor until moments before his stillbirth... or my friends Molly, Amanda, and Shae whose babies died inside them just weeks before they were to be born, wiggly and squealing, into happy, welcoming arms.

I want my eyes to be opened to see the beauty of the mundane, and my heart to be made alive to the mercy of God that is mine with every new breath I take. I don't want to take any of the moments I have *right now* for granted, no matter where I am on my journey. My friend Leslie reminds me of this; she lost her son when he was 19. My friend Holly reminds me of this; she lost her only brother last year when he was 16. Life is a gift.

More often than not, I forget this. Without realizing it I start to live with the assumption that I deserve my life, and it should be happy, easy, and "normal", and then I slip into the thinking that I'm owed a happy, pain-free life. I want to keep the thought before me that each new morning is a gift I don't deserve, made possible by the hand of God, and I want to use it to live out my praise and thanks to the Giver of life. He *sustains*. And that is what I am grateful for today.

And now, I need to go change a poopy diaper.

six months. 182.5 days. half a year.

2010-02-28T21:30:00.000-08:00

Today Jude is six months old.

It's absolutely unreal how fast these last six months have flown by. It feels like a blur! I knew it at the time... I remember thinking when he was 3, 6, 10 weeks old that the days were going by so fast, and now we're already at the half-year point! Sometimes I feel like I "just had a baby" and other times it seems like he's been a part of our lives for so long that it's hard to remember what daily life looked without him.

Well, okay, I *can* remember, but it feels very distant. I suppose that's due to the fact that babies are just so all-encompasing. They permeate every single aspect of your life; your days, your nights, your going out, and your staying in. I used to be upset when people would discount my thoughts on children because I wasn't a parent and "couldn't possibly know what it's really like". And to some degree I still feel that is a bad reason to discount someone's opinions, but I'm starting- just starting- to understand why... you earn this thing called parenting experience with many sleepless nights, tears, and core-changing growth.

I'm really surprised how much being a mother (ack, that's still so odd!) has changed me, and how much it hasn't. I'm still ME, with my same tastes, loves, and quirks, but I'm a different, mellower, deeper version of me. I'm also surprised at how much I love, really love, being a mother. I was so worried about my ability and even questioned my mothering instinct up until the day Jude was born. I remember even telling my mom that I really wished that I was going to have a puppy instead of a baby! She really reassured me by telling me that she felt similar feelings toward children before she had me, and evidentaly she liked me so much she went on to have three more kids, so something must have changed. haha But seriously, I am amazed at how much I like Jude, and like being home with him. I definitely had to work through my fears of boredom and inability, and the working out of those fears came with many tears and really only by taking one trembly step after another. I've never had to lean hard on the Lord like I had to in the first month or two of Jude's life, but He has and is proving Himself strong for me, and I'm really enjoying this scary thing called motherhood.

Anyway, I didn't even really mean to get deep, and I feel like I barely scratched the surface of what I could say about all the ways the Lord is showing me more of who He is. Mainly I just wanted to commemorate Jude's 6 month mark with a few words and pictures. He's great. Really great.

I've always thought flowcharts were cool

2010-01-25T13:50:00.000-08:00

I ran across this on the interwebbie the other day and just had to laugh.

five years ago today

2010-01-21T08:12:00.000-08:00

Five years ago on January 21, 2005 I was in the middle of a major remodeling project on my bathroom after having just moved back in with my parents. I took a break for a day and drove up to Tahoe to enjoy the scenery... and talk & text with "this guy" who I was "just friends" with. I took this picture and later sent it to him:

Later that night I was working on my computer, and spending at least half my time talking to "him" on AIM. Around dinnertime (I remember I was cooking yellow squash, among other things, I'm sure) he sent me a song. Keith Urban's I Wanna Love Somebody Like You. I kinda hyperventilated.

Much later that night, he called me on the phone and we talked for about 5 hours... until Rob got up the nerve to tell me, in a 15-minute monologue, that he was attracted to me. I responded with an e-mail that I had already written, telling him that our friendship was torturing me... and I needed him to make the first move. I'm so glad he did. My life has never been the same... I love you, Rob Hulson!

I don't think I took my headset out of my ear for the next year and 10 months

and neither did he

one year ago today

2009-12-22T07:08:00.001-08:00

A year ago today I was packing to go visit my parents and family for Christmas.

A year ago today I decided to use a 2-year old pregnancy test on a whim instead of throwing it away.

A year ago today I got the most amazing surprise that changed my life forever...

Jude was coming to be our very own tiny son!

Well, of course we didn't yet know that it was Jude who was causing that shock-inducing little pink line, but that was our first indication that he was going to be a part of our lives forever. And what a part he has already played! My life is vastly different than it was a year ago today; it's fuller, tired-er, more responsible, and so much richer than I imagined it could or would be.

A year ago today I didn't know what it felt like to have my son's (MY son!) big blue eyes blink up at me and then see his whole face break into a huge grin. A whole new compartment of my heart has been opened... I didn't know I could love a tiny person so very much! Welcome to our crazy lives, Jude... we're going to have so many fun adventures!

Today!

Christmasey fun

2009-12-16T15:26:00.000-08:00

It's definitely starting to feel like Christmas! Yesterday I spent the day baking and cooking for our small group Christmas party, and when I got home last night I made 10 dozen shortbread cookies for a cookie exchange party today. For a girl who doesn't love to cook, that was a lot. I had a really good time doing it, too. I think I figured out a theory: I like to make superfluous and "fun" stuff, but I don't like to do the day in, day out dinners. Haha, convenient, huh? Actually, I *have* been cooking and stuff a lot more in the last few weeks, I feel like I'm getting more on top of things in life so I have more time to meal plan and execute.

So, last night's small group party was load of fun! We ate delicious noms, did the traditional gift exchange (I was the only one who "played dirty" and stole-- a gift card to Caribou from Kyle! Heh, sorry, Kyle!). We played a rousing game of Buzzword and the ladies lost by just a few points. Next year, guys... you're goin' down! But there was also kind of a sadness behind the fun because Kyle and Johanna are moving to help start a small group in their area, starting January 5th. K&J have been such awesome supporters of our small group endeavor; the first time we mentioned the possibility of starting one, they immediately said they'd join us. It's been such a huge morale boost to have them behind us all the way, it will be such a huge change to not have their comments, input, and support each week. Uh oh... I'd better not think too much about it or I might cry! We're excited about what the Lord has ahead of them in their own town, and know that they will be a huge blessing to everyone they're involved with. And anyway, we'll see them for church on Saturday nights starting soon. So it's all so good.

The ladies

Our hot honeys + Cory

Although it's usually a bit more like this:

And this:

Lots of love in this group. Oh yes.

The cookie exchange this morning was all kinds of awesome, too... fun meeting new friends and re-connecting with others. And the cookies? Can I just say *ahhh-may-zing*? I ended up with way too many cookies for two people to legally consume- russian tea cookies, ginger-chocolate chip, sugar cookies, spicy crinkle things, peanut butter balls, gingersnaps, chocolate chip, peanut butter with the chocolate kiss on tip, shortbread, and some fudge thrown in for good measure! I'm sure I'm missing some, too. the table was positively creaking under the weight.

Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures of the event, so I'll just have to wait for Jo or someone to load some up on Facebook so I can steal them, just like I nicked those ^ small group ones from Kyle and a few from Jessica. Cuz that's how I roll. Hey, at least I'm giving credit, right? ;)

And now the little Jude-man is down for his final nap of the day and I'm just finishing a russian tea cookie and some hot tea, with Chesterton curled up by my feet. Mmm, so cozy!

congrats, Rob!

2009-12-09T22:16:00.001-08:00

So I keep thinking that I'm going to blog. That thought is immediately followed by the ideas that I need to be 1) eloquent, 2)have something deep and insightful to say, 3)cool and witty. I then give up on my blog post before it even had the chance to see the light of day.

A good friend of mine recently told me that all she does is post little snippets of things that are a part of her day, so I'm gonna give that a try. Who knows... I just may resurrect this poor lonely blog after all.

So for starters:

Rob and are taking off for Chicago on Friday morning. He is going to walk with his graduating class at Moody Bible Institute on Saturday morning! Yes, yes... he IS in his second year of his master's at TBI (which is now BCS, but I can't call it that yet) but this is for his undergrad work. Rob likes to joke that he "crammed a 4-year degree into 8 years!", but also during those 8 years he worked full-time, moved across the country three times, got married, started grad school, and had a baby (well, technically *I* had the baby, but you get the point). All that to say that I'm immensely proud of my hard-working husband! Way to go, Babes... it won't be long until late-night exam cramming is a thing of the past!

Anyone have any cool spots we shouldn't miss in Chicago?

baby Jude meets the big, bad world!

2009-10-09T12:07:00.000-07:00

Hello dead blog! I think I'll resurrect you... Lazarus, come forth!

I've obviously had Jude since I've written anything here, and I figure it's about time to post the story of his birth before I forget all the gory details (which I do hope happens soon!)

After my last day of work on Friday 8/21/09, I had been feeling "crampy" and just overall kinda out of it over the weekend, and all day Sunday I had regular, slightly painful contractions, but not anything that stopped me from going about life. Rob and I went to church Saturday night, and then he played/sang for both services on Sunday morning; I met him for a Caribou Coffee date between services. We also had the kickoff picnic/retreat for BCS (school) that day and we both went even though I didn't feel 100%. I remember telling people that I was 10 days away from my due date, huh. This was taken that weekend:

The next day (Monday) I made out a grand plan for my week, figuring I had at least two weeks before Jude's arrival and I didn't want to be sitting around just w-a-i-t-i-n-g for him to come. I buzzed around doing all sorts of projects and making phone calls, feeling energetic and pretty good, with occasional cramping spells. I talked to my mom on the phone about my plans for the week and she told me she thought I was going to go into labor sooner than I thought based on my current burst of energy. I laughed. By that evening, I was having regular "cramps" (I was unwilling to call them anything else) and ended up canceling dinner/movie plans with friends to stay home and rest. Rob was at the BCS retreat, but had already decided he wasn't going to stay the night, just in case I needed him.

Tuesday morning I felt better and decided to keep on going with my to-do list for the week… and felt the need to add in making zucchini bread and oatmeal raisin cookies. For some reason, I felt this was of utmost importance. hahaha I took a nap in the afternoon and woke up to my first "real" contraction… it was strong and serious, not at all like the cramping I had felt earlier. By the time Rob came home from work around 5, I figured it would be a good idea to keep track, and they were averaging about 15 minutes apart, though not at all regularly spaced. We took a walk, made and ate dinner, and I took a bath. Nothing changed; I was still having contractions, but they weren't getting any closer or more difficult… just enough so that I could not rest or get comfortable. At midnight I did drift off to sleep, but had about 10 or so contractions that woke me up over the next 3 hours.

At about 3am I woke Rob up because they were coming faster and stronger- about 6 minutes apart and hard enough that they made me moan and groan much more than before. By 8am we decided to go ahead and call the midwife to figure out if I should keep my 11am regularly scheduled appointment, and call our parents and let them know what was going on. The midwife advised me to go ahead and go to my appt, which I did and found out that I was about 1cm dilated and already about 75% effaced (how they measure that I have no clue, but whatever) I went from that appointment over to the chiropractor to make sure everything was good to go. (that was a difficult adjustment- she had to stop for my contractions about 4 times and it took all I had in me not to make horrible sounds, heh)

The rest of the afternoon is pretty much a blur; I spent most of the time in our bedroom with soft music trying to relax through each contraction, which I did pretty well with until about 4 when they got pretty unbearable. I remember all of a sudden wanting to talk to my Dad, so I called him and as soon as he answered I burst into tears. (what?? totally not me) He was so gracious to talk to me and pray for me, then he told me he had to get back to his meeting- he was signing escrow papers at the bank! By that time I started feeling like we should go in to the hospital lest the neighbors start thinking I was getting murdered. So we called the midwife and explained how I was feeling (or Rob did- I wasn't in any condition to talk on the phone, but I'm sure she heard me) and she told us to come on in.

Getting into the hospital was an experience in itself- the emergency entrance was under construction and the valet guy was on lunch, so they took me up in a wheelchair and I left Rob standing by the car with all our bags. I was totally NOT happy about that at all. By the time he came up to the room, I was already in the oh-so-stylish hospital gown and getting ready for the initial exam/monitoring… which told us that I was only dilated to 3cm, dangit! So what can you do but keep going.

(I don't think anyone looks good in labor, despite my best efforts of doing makeup between contractions before we left home and wearing my own clothes)

The next several (5ish?) hours all run together in my mind; I was in and out of the bathtub, leaning on the side of the bed, walking around the room, and laying on my side trying to relax. Rob did an amazing, amazing job being right by my side every step of the way. Honestly, he was my rock. Every time I felt like my insides were being ripped out with a blunt hook (not even kidding, it was hideously painful) I found the strength I needed by looking into his calm eyes and hearing his steady voice speaking the Word and praying. There were times when it was so painful and I was screaming so much I literally thought to myself in the back of my mind "holy crap, who is this? Oh… it's me." After every particularly vocal contraction (most of them) I would apologize to the midwife and nurses for being so dang loud. They laughed at me later for being "so polite". I remember saying things like "the Chinese didn't invent torture, this is the original deal" and "my mom told me labor was like strong cramps- SHE LIED!" in between contractions. For some reason everyone thought I was so funny. Ha.

At about 12am I got the the point where I couldn't get on top of the contractions and manage them at all any more, so I did what any sane person would do- ask for the freakin epidural, NOW. But Rob and my midwife reminded me that I didn't *really* want that, I really wanted a waterbirth and I could do it. But I was so darn exhausted after not sleeping for about 32 hours that I just couldn't manage the pain at all any more. So came to a compromise; we decided to try Nubane, which would do nothing for the pain, but would hopefully help me get a little bit of rest between contractions. I still have mixed feelings about that, on one hand I think it was a good idea because I did actually doze a bit between contractions, but because I was sleeping sometimes I couldn't feel a contraction coming on and it would catch me by surprise and be all that much worse. So after about an hour or so on the Nubane, we decided to abandon that idea and I went back to the bathtub to tough it out. After about an hour of insanity my midwife checked me and I was [finally] about 8cm, so they started getting the delivery tub ready. I felt like I could focus a bit more knowing that since they were preparing for delivery, the end *must* be in sight, right?

At about 2am I went two doors down to the room with the big delivery tub and climbed in. It was *awesome* being in the deeper water, I could change positions easily and felt much more supported by so much water. When I got in the tub I was about 9cm, so I couldn't start pushing yet, even though I was fighting the urge with everything in me. I think that might have been the worst part. My low back was burning (yep, he was posterior) and my body wanted to DO something with each contraction, but I had to hold back. So frustrating. Finally at about 2:30 I was completely dilated and free to push, which brought a whole new level of exertion and- of course- pain. After every contraction I kept asking if they could see his head, and for some reason that kept me going. Also, I asked the midwife how long each contraction was, and when she told me they were about 45 seconds I told myself that I could handle that. I felt like I was in control a bit more knowing the timeframe I was dealing with.

I pushed for about 2 hours before he started actually coming out. Rob could see what was going on, and he says that in one contraction I pushed him out to about his eyebrows, then on the next contraction I pushed him all the way out in one big rush. From my perspective, all of a sudden there was a tiny bluish someone floating in the water with us! It was pretty surreal to see him for the first time. I didn't' feel a rush of joy or anything yet, just a sense of relief that the pain was gone and an amazement that there was a person in the room who hadn't been there before. I heard the midwife say that the cord was around his neck, and then I saw her spin him around under the water to get it off, which she did very quickly. As soon as it was off, she immediately popped him up out of the water and onto my chest. I looked at him and he wasn't breathing and his eyes were just staring straight ahead. It was really freaky for a second, and Rob immediately started praying for him. Then I saw his eyes move back and forth and I knew he was going to be okay, even though he wasn't breathing yet. The nurses started suctioning him out, but he still didn't breathe, so the midwife told us she had to cut the cord (we had said that Rob wanted to do that) and get him out and help him breathe.

The nurses rubbed him down and suctioned him at a warmer right next to the tub, and Rob was still praying out loud for him as they worked on him for what seemed like an eternity. Finally we heard a little gasp and he was breathing, just not crying. When they gave him back to Rob and I to hold and look at in the tub, we both started crying and thanking the Lord for our little gift. Rob sang the song that he had been singing to him every night for the past nine months, and everyone in the room started crying. It was an amazing moment of worship and thanks to the Lord for carrying us through and giving us this little guy.

After about 45 minutes they wanted to get his vitals, and get me out of the tub and cleaned up. At that point they weighed him and he cried his first real cry. When they saw that he was so small (5lbs 3 oz) they did a bunch of tests on him and saw that his blood sugar level was very low, although that wasn't too much of a concern at that point.

We were then wheeled back to our original room where we tried to get him to eat a bit. Since his blood sugar was low, they brought in an eyedropper of formula to get into his system right away as well.They did another round of tests to determine if he was early or full-term, and they decided that he was indeed 40 weeks, even though the early ultrasound put him at 39 weeks at that point.

That's also when they did another blood sugar test and found that it had dropped since the first one, which was cause for concern since he had already eaten and that should have brought his blood sugar UP, not down. About 5 minutes later a bunch of doctors and nurses crowded into the room and started all talking at once about how small he was and how his blood sugar was low and next thing I knew they were taking him down to the NICU. All I really remember about that was looking over at Rob and saying "stay with him, I'm fine", then everybody was gone. About a half hour or so later I started wondering why I hadn't heard anything, so I forgot that I had a phone next to me and got up and started walking down the hall in search of the NICU. When I found it and saw Rob there watching 3 nurses trying to get the IV line into Jude's tiny arm I totally lost it. I cried and cried and asked what the heck was going on and why nobody kept me in the loop and why Rob didn't have his phone so I could find him. The nurses assured me that everything was fine and we should go back to our room and eat some breakfast. That started our 5-day stay in the NICU, watching his blood sugar levels and teaching him how to eat.

He didn't take too well right away to eating, so feeding times were scary and stressful for me. But with care and attention, he learned how to eat and they started backing off the amount of glucose they were giving him in the IV. As he was able to maintain his blood sugar on his own, they reduced the glucose bit by bit over the next 4 days until he was completely off of it. That was the day that we got to take him to our room! It felt so amazing to go to sleep that night with our own little man sleeping beside us.

They still wanted to monitor him to see how he did without any assistance for about 24 hours before sending him home with us, so we all stayed another day until we got the go-ahead from all the doctors. On Monday morning they gave us the all-clear and we left the hospital at bout 12 noon, just a few hours short of 6 days before we checked in the previous Wednesday. It was almost surreal driving home with this new, teeny-tiny little person to take care of.

(trying to wear his newbord-size going home outfit I had packed for him!)

The first few weeks were pretty rough with having to closely monitor his feedings and going to one doctor or another just about every day. My mom was a HUGE help, she arrived in Minneapolis the evening after Jude was born, and once we got home from the hospital she did SO much for us. My dad got here about a week after Jude was born, and my brothers all came out on his 3-week "birthday". I definitely got spoiled having my family here for a whole month; I don't think I made one meal or went to the grocery store once during that time!

We had our last appointment with the lactation consultant last week and Jude is now 8lbs 1oz; nearly 3 lb. over his birthweight at 5 weeks old! I think we're now past the getting used to him phase and now we're just learning to love him more every day. :)

Total Eclipse Of The BRAIN

2009-06-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

In keeping with the spirit of my blog (or wait. It has no spirit... it's nearly dead!) I'm just popping in with a drive-by post. You know, those are the kind that are like a drive-by shooting: random, unexplained, and you may never see the shooter (poster) again. Ha.

Okay, so after cleaning and organizing our apartment* all day, Rob figured I needed a laugh, so he showed me this music video. Someone took Total Eclipse Of The Heart and wrote "literal" words to explain (narrate?) the bizarre music video. I don't think I've laughed so much at anything lately.

Seriously? Did Bonnie Tyler really have hair that hideous? And *what* is she actually supposed to be doing in this video?

The bummer of it is, I actually like the original song. Now I doubt I'll be able to hear it without seeing the creepy lighted glasses on schoolboys. *shudder*

*I totally owe pictures of the moved-into and decorated apartment, I know!

new apartment!

2009-05-01T11:05:00.000-07:00

We're moving this weekend! Just upstairs and two apartments over into the corner unit. :) It has two bedrooms *and* a den, so Rob's office will move from our current second bedroom to the new den, thus freeing up the new second bedroom for the little Jude-man and all of his paraphernalia that he will no doubt accumulate.

So, by way of introduction, here are a few pictures of the new place. I'll write a description under each one so you can get a feel for what you're looking at. The layout is identical to our old one, with the exception of the den off of the living room.

This is standing in the living room facing the den and the front door. Notice the wide doorway into the den and the little window in the corner... there's another large window on the other wall, too.

Here I took a few steps back, into the corner of the living room. From the left, you see a tiny sliver of the living room wall, the doorway into the den, the entryway and front door (notice the nicer doors on the front closet!) and the dining area with the cute little archway into the kitchen. :)

This is the dining area with the archway into the kitchen. It makes me smile.

Standing in the hall, looking into the kitchen (we lost a large upper cabinet in order to gain the archway) Also check out the built-in microwave; that means more counter space since we won't have to have our other one on the counter by the sink! Hopefully it works well. Ya never know...

Looking out of the archway into the dining area and a little into the den (notice the other den window) Man, do I wish that stove was gas, I miss it so much!

The other side of the kitchen... the only things that are different are the tile (not vinyl) flooring, and the double sink.

And finally, the view from the balcony. Since we're one floor higher, we see more TREES! Can't wait for those leaves to come out and get *green* already! Silver Lake is just barely visible over the rooftops.

The master bedroom and walk-in closet are exactly the same as our old ones, and the bathroom is the same too, except it has tile flooring just like the kitchen (no carpet at all in the bathroom).

So that's pretty much it! Now to get all our junk up there... oh dear!

I'll post a follow-up to this once we're all settled. IF that happens, that is. ;)

Wow. The pictures turned out so small... huh.

links I'm liking

2009-04-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

It's a lovely Saturday morning and I'm lazily browsing the interwebs while glancing up every now and then to watch the grass finally get green(er). Aahhh, weekends!

Being with child, I've been wandering the world wide web and stumbling across baby sites, naturally. Funny how that happens... ;) Anyway, I came across a few sites today that are full of stuff I'm drooling over (heh, how ironic):

Babesta
For the indie-rocker in all of us.

Pixie Rock
Seriously, what Apple lover (aka, Rob) wouldn't love the "iPoo'd" onsie??

Ubooshi
For trendy graphic tees and stuff; apparently all the celeb babies rock this "label". haha

Little Lark
Okay, the little boy on the home page is advertisement enough for me...what a lil heartbreaker! I'm in love with their simple nature-themed designs.

Wry Baby
Kooky off-beat humor. Their tagline is "raise funny people". Yes!

And to keep all these links organized in one easily-accessible place? Heavens no, not the "bookmarks" of your browser... that's so 2007! I use Evernote, an online "information manager" with downloadable, synching programs for your computer (PC, Mac, and even Linux for the true nerds out there) and mobile phone (iPhone... and all the *other* phones). It's SO handy to save -and tag!- links, articles, or whatever I run across, all in one seachable place. How simple!

There are two informative posts on info managers at Rob's blog, if you're interested. :)

So anyway, that's how I'm spending my Saturday morning so far. Next on the list is to get stuff ready for moving day next Friday!

Have a great weekend. :)

and the love child is...

2009-04-08T19:06:00.000-07:00

hello blogworld!

2009-04-06T07:53:00.000-07:00

Gosh, it's been a while. I've just started to feel somewhat like "myself" again in the last few weeks, but I've been transitioning (for what has seemed like months now) into a new role at work that will give me almost zero computer time. So, my blogging suffers another blow!

I'm excited about my new position at work! I work for a clothing recycling company, and up until now I've been doing admin work (boooring!). But the new role will be totally different; I'll be a "site finder", which means I'll drive around Minneapolis and St. Paul asking various businesses if they wouldn't mind hosting one of our collection boxes in their parking lot. (we collect clothes in boxes around town rather than one drop-off location) Sometimes this is super-easy and the business owner readily agrees with smiles all around. Sometimes it's ridiculously difficult, involving getting numerous signatures and permits from cranky city council members. And sometimes it's just plain demoralizing, hearing "no" after "no" after "no". I just tell myself that those people probably give their kids lumps of coal in their Christmas stockings too. Somehow that makes it all better. hahaha

I just found out that my boss in the office has hired a replacement for my current position in the office, and I will start training her next Monday. That means that I will be site finding full-time by the following Monday, if all goes well. I am really excited and a little scared, too.

I'm excited because I'll be essentially working for myself (as a contractor, with my company as a "client") which means I set my own hours. Yaaaay! No more 5:30 mornings! I can leave the house whenever I darn well please! I do have a quota of sites that I have to get each week (4-5, which works out to one a day, more or less) but I'm free to get more, and to do it all in one day or to get one every day, or whatever. The freed-up schedule is SO liberating after spending over a year chained to an 8-4, M-F schedule. Now I can come home at noon if I get a site early in the day... or I can take the random Thursday off to take a day trip to wherever my lil heart pleases. It's also exciting because if I *just* meet my low-end quota I will roughly triple my weekly income. Um, yay??!! Of course, I'm comparing pre-tax vs. post-tax, so that has to factor in, but over all, it's vastly better both financially and time-wise.

I'm a little scared because there is NO hourly pay. It's 100% commission. IOW, I can work my bootay off all day (or week) long and if I get no sites, I get no money. That's a lot of pressure, especially if I have a bad day physically or something. And right now, this is our primary source of income. Double pressure.

I say "primary" because Rob and I are both still building our MonaVie income, and in a few weeks we're starting a 3-month program called the "Diamond Run" that should more than kick our income up a few levels. This is also very exciting, since it's all about teamwork (which I'm seeing more and more that it's based around the biblical model of discipleship) and getting to know/love people. The goal is to have MV replace my job as our primary source of income by September, which is when the love child is due to arrive and demand my full attention.

Speaking of the love child... I started feeling little rolls and pokes and bumps about two weeks or so ago. It's the strangest sensation! Trying to describe it is really hard, it feels like I swallowed a live fish and it's swimming around inside me. Hahahha Or if you've ever caught a tadpole or a guppy when you were a kid and you have it trapped in your hand underwater, it kind of wiggles and bumps against your hand... that's a perfect example of the feeling. (C'mon, I can't be the only girl who caught "things"?) Anyway, it's kind of gross and kind of fun at the same time.

Wednesday is our day to "peek" and hopefully find out what the love child IS. Aside from human, of course. ;) I'm really excited... for one thing, I hate calling a human being "it" all the time, and I think naming it and knowing how to relate to it will really help me bond even more. And that's always a good thing, especially when we're talking about a child here! haha

I think we've settled on a name if it's a boy, and we have 3 or 4 that we're deciding between if it's a girlie. Name and sex will be freely shared once we find out on Wednesday, if the lil wiggler cooperates!

Alrightie, well for not blogging in over a month, this was much longer than intended. Sorry to all my readers who don't like long posts! (ahem, Erica)

I'll be back on Wednesday!

Oh, for those of you who like visuals (I do!) here's a picture of me last week (at 18 weeks or 4.5 months):

would you like to take a survey?

2009-03-05T07:58:00.000-08:00

For some reason I've fallen prey to doing a few random surveys on Facebook, something I said I'd never do. ;) Since I haven't had time (new job promotion!), energy (new baby on the way!) or inspiration (no excuse!)I have been neglecting my poor, sad lil bloggie. So I figured I may as well cut-and-paste the surveys that I do take over here... y'know, for fun.

(anyone remember the nasal voice in some commercial or song or something from the mid-90's that said over and over "would you like to take a survey?" No? Maybe it's my imagination.)

So, let the survey-taking commence! The items with an "X" next to them are the ones I have personally done. My extraneous comments are in italics.

Things you have done during your lifetime:

(X) Gone on a blind date (um... yeah.)

(X) Donated blood (does plasma count? It was awful enough.)

(X) Skipped school or class

(X) Watched someone die (my aunt... it was actually pretty incredible)

(X) Been to Canada (Lake Louise in Alberta... honeymoon, FTW!)

( ) Been to Mexico

( ) Been to Florida

( ) Been to Hawaii (hoping to set this straight this summer!)

(X) Been on a plane (countless times...)

( ) Been on a helicopter (I want to SO bad!)

(X) Been lost

( ) Been to Washington D.C.

(X) Hugged a homeless person

(X) Swum in the ocean

( ) Swum with stingrays

( ) Been sailing in the ocean

(X) Cried yourself to sleep

(X) Played cops and robbers

(X) Recently colored with crayons (Macaroni Grill!)

( ) Run a marathon (does a 5k count? Yeah, I didn't think so...)

(X) Sung karaoke (in Nashville, of all places. Hall of shame moment)

( ) Volunteered at a soup kitchen (no, but I tell myself every Thanksgiving that I will do this *next year* Lame.)

(X) Paid for a meal with coins only (quite common in Reno, actually)

( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch

( ) Seen the northern lights

(X) Been parasailing (Almost! But the place was closed for the day)

(X) Been on TV (just various news clips here and there)

(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't (umm, this survey. Haha)

(X) Made prank phone calls (hello, is Mr. Wall there?)

( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans (no, but Rob has)

(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (how embarrassing!)

(X) Fed an elephant (at the circus when I was little)

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(X) Fired a gun (BB gun. haha)

(X) Danced in the rain

( ) Been to the opera

( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus

(X) Serenaded someone

( ) Seen a U.S. President in person

(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe

(X) Watched the sun rise with someone

( ) Driven a race car

(X) Been to a national museum (hmm, I've been to a bunch of museums, I'm sure one of them had to be "national")

( ) Been to a wax museum (I totally want to! My grandpa got mistaken for a statue at the one in London; he scared the people next to him when he moved)

(X) Eaten caviar

(X) Blown bubbles (uh, who hasn't?)

(X) Gone ice-skating

(X) Gone to the movies

( ) Been deep-sea fishing (no, but I almost went one of the many times my brothers have gone... I'm bummed I didn't)

( ) Driven across the United States (like, ALL the way across? East-West? I've gone from OK to MN several times, and that's *almost* all the way North-South)

( ) Been in a hot air balloon (Another thing I've always wanted to do!)

( ) Been sky diving (never in a million years. Period, the end.)

(X) Gone snowmobiling (Tahoe, baby!)

( ) Lived in more than one country

(X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets

(X) Seen a falling star and made a wish

( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful geyser

(X) Seen the Grand Canyon

( ) Seen the Statue of Liberty (seeing the 4th of July fireworks around the Statue is on my "must-do" list too)

(X) Gone to the top of the Seattle Space Needle

( ) Been on a cruise

( ) Traveled by train (I always thought this would be so romantic)

(X) Traveled by motorcycle (traveled? Like on an overnight trip or around the city?)

(X) Been horse back riding (lots and lots of times)

(X) Ridden on a San Francisco cable car

(X) Been to Disneyland OR Disney World (Land. Several times)

(X) Truly believe in the power of prayer

(X) Been in a rain forest (Africa- near Victoria Falls)

(X) Seen whales in the ocean (from my aunt & uncle's telescope)

( ) Been to Niagara Falls (no, but I've been to Victoria Falls in Africa, which is similar. I got wet.)

(X) Ridden on an elephant (on Bertha the mascot of John Ascuaga's Nugget in Reno. It was at a circus when I was little)

( ) Swum with dolphins (that kinda creeps me out)

( ) Been to the Olympics (almost went to Atlanta in '96)

( ) Been to the World Cup

( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China

( ) Seen and heard a glacier calf (what in the world is that?)

( ) Been spinnaker flying (huh?)

(X) Been water-skiing (and wakeboarding)

(X) Been snow-skiing (I think snowboarding qualifies)

(X) Been to Westminster Abbey (okay, well... I walked up. They were closed that day! So have *have* been "to", just not "in" )

( ) Been to the Louvre

( ) Swum in the Mediterranean

(X) Been to a Major League Baseball game (several)

( ) Been to a National Football League game

( ) Swum with sharks (uhhh. right. If dolphins freak me out, there ain't no way)

( ) Been white water rafting (not after the horror stories my brothers tell all the time!)

( ) Written a book or screen play

(X) Been to Europe

(X) Been to Vegas

( ) Climbed a lighthouse

( ) Seen the cherry blossoms in Washington, D.C.

( ) Flown a plane

( ) Owned a boat

() Gone skinny dipping (not sayin')

( ) Watched grandchildren grow (whose? If mine, then no... but other people's, sure!)

( ) Been to the Kentucky Derby (oh! this is on my "must-do" list!)

( ) Been to Key West

(X) Been to a rodeo

( ) Owned a convertible

So there ya have it, folks. Exciting, eh?

this one goes out to the one I love

2009-02-14T15:17:00.001-08:00

5 Valentine's days with you and you still set my heart on fire. Love you, Babes!

running on "E"

2009-02-12T08:02:00.000-08:00

I just don't have much energy to blog right now.

I mean, I barely have the energy to do the necessities like drag my tired self out of bed at 5:30 and make it to work, then drag myself home, eat (ugh) and crawl back into bed by about 8:30 or 9. Toss in the occasional grocery store trip and church on Saturday nights and I'm spent. And Rob's doing most of the cooking and cleaning, on top of his studies, classes, *and* work... the dear man!

I honestly never knew I could feel this depleted. I did find out from my Dr. that besides from being worn out from growing a whole new human being, my body is also trying to fight off an ongoing infection that I never knew about, so hopefully that will get taken care of in the next week or so as the medicine takes effect. I can't wait to feel like myself again! "They" say that most people turn the corner around the 13th week (ie- beginning of the 4th month) of pregnancy, and all I can say is "bring it ON". Until then, I'll be conserving all the drops of precious energy I can.

In other news, I'm getting a cool promotion at work that should just about *triple* my income, so that's awesome!

a minor cat-astrophe

2009-01-29T06:26:00.000-08:00

Excuse the silly pun, I just couldn't help it. ;)

Yesterday was a big day for my kitty, Chester. He went to the vet to get "tutored", in the words of Gary Larson. After the initial exam, the vet emerged from the back room with perplexing news: Chester couldn't be neutered. SHE had to be spayed.

Huh? What?

All this time, Chester is a GIRL!!

Rob tells the story much better on his blog. It's hilarious, really. Now just to mentally adjust...

kitschy 80's movies that surprise

2009-01-26T07:31:00.000-08:00

Saturday night Rob introduced me to Condorman, a cheesy Disney movie that I had seen previews for when I was little, but never actually watched. Generally, I think that it's best to watch a nostalgic kid's movie only if you've seen it when you actually were a kid, otherwise you miss the nostalgia and "greatness" of the cheese factor and it's just a stupid movie with a weak plot and outdated special effects. (can you tell I've experienced this? haha) But I have to say, although Condorman was indeed cheesy, I was caught off guard by how much I actually enjoyed it. For sure, there were outdated special effects and the plot was predictable at times, but there were plenty of things that caught and held my attention. Mainly, the cool cars that the "bad guys" used to chase down Condorman and his lovely lady. Observe:

I mean seriously, what gets more cool than 5 black Porsche Carreras with drivers wearing all black leather and black helmets? And the action in the chase scenes is actually pretty cool and mostly believable (a rarity in current movies).

So the cars were cool. Admittedly, that's not what caught my attention in the first place, nor what held it throughout the movie. :) It was Barbara Carrera in the leading lady role as "Natalia". Well to be more accurate, it was her clothes. Heh heh heh. She wore so many great outfits that I wanted to pause the movie on each one to take a screenshot so I could copy her look. She was seriously cool, even as a gypsy. ;)

The first outfit that caught my eye was this one:

Fabulous long purple poncho/cape thing, slim dark jeans, and a pair of tall leather riding boots that exactly matched the color of her hair. It's a shame you can't see the pants and boots in this picture. They really were smashing.

There's a scene where they ride a ski lift to make their escape, and while the men looked laughable in their silly one-piece snowsuits (tight red shiny overalls, anyone?)Natalia looked like this:
The perfect little snowbunny. :)

Later we see her at the house of Condorman's evil nemesis wearing this getup for a party:
This picture is the only one I could find of this outfit, which was MUCH more amazing as you saw it full-length and from all different angles. I couldn't tell if it was a dress or floaty pants (I think pants, actually) but the overall effect was cool, breezy, Mediterranean, and highly fashionable with the cape and the daring, sassy wrap on her head. I would totally wear this. Maybe. :)

Of course, since this *is* a spy movie, Natalia's first scene has her looking the part of the 1950 undercover agent:
Gotta love the hat and Veronica Lake curls!

So I guess you could say that I enjoyed the movie... how did it end again? ;)

(just kidding, I remember!)

Love is...

2009-01-22T07:34:00.000-08:00

So many people have asked the question, "what is love?" and some people even ask what love has to do with anything. There are surely as many answers for as many times this timeless question has been asked. And love is definitely a multi-faceted concept, revealing new dynamics of itself as it grows and deepens. But for Rob and I, right now this is our answer:

where there's smoke...

2009-01-21T06:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning we had a little problem... I hopped out of the shower to the scent of burning plastic and the haze of smoke, which is never a good sign. We spent the better part of the morning trying to rid our little not-so-well-ventilated apartment of both of these unsavory pneumatic essences.

But let me back up.

The night before I had made a yummy dinner of Thai noodles with tofu and sugar snap peas (go me! That's the first meal I've made in over a week). After the water for the noodles boiled I took the lid off the pan and set in on the stove, and that was the last I thought of it. Next morning, Rob in his husbandly kindness started to make my morning tea by turning on an [electric] burner to heat it up before putting the kettle on it. Of course he happened to turn on the one burner that I had left the pan lid on. Uh huh.

Next thing we know, we're being choked by the stinging smell of burning plastic and there are flames shooting out of the top of the pan lid, and the handle was in an unrecognizable pool of black goop all over the stove top. Not good. Rob put the fire out pretty easily (whew!), but the smell and the smoke... they're still hanging around today. Even after leaving all our windows and sliding door open all day in the freezing temps yesterday. It smells so bad that it still stings our eyes this morning. And poor Chester, he had to stay home in the awful smell all day.

Currently, we're experimenting with various "home remedies" to rid our apartment of the noxious fumes. First up: cut up lemons. They're supposed to "absorb" the smell. We'll see. If not, we'll move on to simmering a pan of various citrus fruits and spices like cinnamon, cloves and the like. We both agreed to avoid the advice to leave cut-up onions all around the house. Heh heh. Hopefully the lemons work!

Now to replace my pan lid...

hello, land of the living

2009-01-19T06:08:00.000-08:00

So blogging hasn't really happened in the last few weeks, that's for sure. It just sinks low on the priority list; under such things as sleep, forcing myself to eat, trying to stay awake during my work day, managing not to throw up, and sleep. Oh, did I already say sleep? I can't believe how tired I've been! It's all I can do to get up (at 5:30!) and make it through my work day, and drive home. Forget grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning. I'll do those later. Maybe. ;)

Fortunately I have an incredible husband who has been picking up all my slack around the house and not complaining about it one bit. He's been amazing, really... making breakfast and packing our lunches every morning, cleaning the kitchen and bathroom as needed, and he even did the grocery shopping last week. Of course all this is on top of his normal responsibilities of studies (he's taking 6 grad-school courses this semester) and work. He's a real trooper, and a handsome one at that!

This last weekend we went to Iowa to see our brand-new little niece, Emily Katherine Schmidt. She was born on Friday afternoon, and we got to see her on Saturday morning... so less than 24 hours old! It was fun to be around a new baby now that we're expecting one of our own, I think it helped put it in perspective for me. Although I will say it was rather disconcerting that the only time she screamed inconsolably was when *I* was holding her. Hrm. I tried everything that the others' were doing, but she was not to be comforted... until I gave her to Rob. THEN she shushed right up. I can see this coming in *quite* handy! Not to mention, it was sweet to see him with a baby... yes it really was.

We had a really nice time seeing Jen & Tim- Rob's sis and bro-in-law- and his parents too. We had a great time chatting with the parents on the way back from the hospital on Friday night... so great that we decided to postpone our departure until the next morning, extending our two-on-two time with them, which is a rare thing indeed. It's a good thing we decided to stay Friday night, because when we were driving back Saturday morning we saw no less than TWENTY-SEVEN crashed cars on the side of the highway. It had been very windy and stormy that night and man am I glad we spent it all cozy in bed rather than out in the blowing snow. Eesh.

Anyway, now I'm back at work! Whoo hoo! (I'm psyching myself up, here) I'm hoping that as I settle into the predictable rhythm of the work-weeks the days will start to roll by. I have my first prenatal appointment next Wednesday, at which point I will be 10 weeks pg, so we'll get to see if all this baby stuff is really REAL and not just in my head. :) Oh and by the way, Chester also has an important appointment that same day, though it has more to do with *not* pro-creating. Heh heh.

Happy Monday!

I'm a defective typewriter

2009-01-07T18:37:00.000-08:00

I do know that I have been neglecting this bloggie for the last... oh three weeks? Yeah, three and a half weeks, actually. It's memorable because the day after my last post I randomly took an HPT "for fun" and it looked like this:

Holymoly.

I'm pretty sure that means I'll be adding a job description and title come August/September. :)

It was quite a surprise, actually. I was packing to go to Nevada for Christmas and ran across an old box of home pregnancy tests that I'd had forever... I figured it would be fun to use it instead of throw it away (I'd never taken one before) and I was expecting my period that day anyway. So I took it. You know, for fun.

It was positive. POSITIVE??!!

Rob and I just looked at each other blankly for a second and then came to the same conclusion; it was an old test, so it was faulty, right? That had to be it! We threw on our jackets and ran to the store to get a new one, to be sure. Actually we got about 3 different brands just in case. They all gave the same result as the old one. That can only mean one thing... if all goes well we're gonna have a kid! I'm still adjusting to the whole idea, it was such a shock! We were planning on waiting until Rob was done with TBI, but I guess the Lord had other plans for us.

All I have to say is that 2009 is going to be a whole new kind of adventure!

(ten points to anyone who knows what movie the title of this post is from)

Edited to add: according to my calculations, I'm about 6 and a half weeks into it so far. And I feel fine. :)

black and white and red all over

2008-12-19T09:01:00.000-08:00

Remember the silly jokes you (or your annoying little sib) used to tell as a kid? Well, black, white and red just so happens to be my favorite color combination, both to wear on my person and to decorate my living space with. It's just so crisp and classic, never goes out of style, and always makes me look good, even on a bad hair/clothes/body/makeup day. And Lord knows I have plenty of those!

So today, even though I am indeed having a bad hair day (calling for both a hat and a ponytail!), I feel pretty darn cute because I'm in my favorite color combo. Black just makes everything better. Even blurry pictures with stupid poses. Maybe?

current favorite jeans- Gap
black cowl-neck sweater with button detail- tagless
white scarf- wal-mart (!!)
hat- also wally world (I so rarely shop at the Blue Giant, that I was surprised to see these cute accessories when I dashed in for cat food- and for super cheap! The hat is even wool.)

I'm particularly fond of these shoes. They're just the right height to give enough of a lift without being uncomfortable for the shopping I'm going to be doing with Rob after work.

Check out the super-cute holiday earrings I got for my birthday from my Mom via my friend Johanna's Silpada jewelry collection. Could they BE any more festive?? (also... do you all think I can pull off the dark eye/nude lip combo? I feel funny with such pale lips)

All wrapped up in my favorite jacket. It's winter white wool- with ruffles!- from Urban Outfitter last year. I smile whenever I put it on.

Now that I've posted my outfit of the day, let's move on to the outfit I'm currently lusting over.

I'd love to try this year's obsession with plaid, but I'm not much for looking schoolgirlish or Scottish. Buffalo plaid juxtaposed with a feminine cut sounds like fun though! And I'm horrified to admit that I only own one crisp white shirt, which I don't even wear all that often. I think I may attempt to mimic this outfit with any Christmas money I [hopefully] receive. I'm loving the little patent leather booties, too!

Speaking of Christmas, Rob and I still have to get prezzies for our little nieces, Amanda and Ella, and for the gift swap that my family is doing. I have no idea what we're going to get. That means shopping tonight! I don't know why I'm so excited to be out in the Christmas crowd (especially on the beginning of the last weekend before the big day) maybe I'm crazy, but I really am looking forward to it. We have to make the trek to the Mall of America (oh so far at 45 minutes away) because that's the only Urban Outfitter around, and I need to exchange some gloves that are tearing in the thumb. So we will definitely be fighting crowds, but I'm jazzed about it. I love going places with my Babes, and, honestly, I do love being in a crowd. There's some kind of energy in a large group of people that I really like. After our shopping expedition, we're thinking of hitting up Acadia Cafe for this show. Any Minneapolis readers want to meet up? Let me know! Good times, folks!

wedding daydreams

2008-12-18T08:56:00.001-08:00

This morning I stumbled across some jaw-droppingly gorgeous pictures of weddings on various blogs that I [now] follow. They have made me want to have 5 more weddings just so I can try out a bunch of different styles. Same groom, thanks. ;) I loved my wedding, even now I wouldn't change anything about it (okay, a few minor details, perhaps) but overall, it was absolutely the wedding of my dreams. So that's not what this is about... it's just an appreciation of beauty and creativity of other people. These pictures make me wish I was artistic and creative... and my job was something along the lines of "magazine writer" or "interior designer" or "fashion photographer" or "event planner" or even "crafty person". Alas, Mom didn't pass down her talent or love for sewing and designing. At least, it hasn't surfaced much yet. Until I discover my inner designer, I look at pictures for my "creativity fix". And these are lovely.

Beachy casual
The bridesmaids are all wearing vintage prom dresses! This just looks like FUN.

Mis-Matched
I'm still kicking myself for not letting my girls pick out their own dress to wear in my wedding. I so wanted to do this... but somewhere along the way of wedding planning, something happened to throw me off this idea. I can't even tell ya what it was, probably a combination of things. But this eclectic style has always intrigued me. It's so... individual and expressive.

Rustic and elegant
Oh. My. Gosh. This is pretty much perfect. The dress, the birdcage veil, the feather shrug (!!), the lighting, the contrast between the old-world elegance of the attire and the rustic setting... did I mention the birdcage veil? It all just trips my fancy. Oh yes.

Town Hall
While a JOP wedding isn't my style, I can't get over how absolutely gorgeous this wedding is. Of course, it's in San Fransisco's town hall, so that's saying something. This is THE way to do a town hall wedding. Simply stunning. (I'm sorry, I can't find the original blog I found the pictures on... hence the size) Take particular note of the detail of her dress. Perfect.

Again, notice the birdcage veil. I'm in love. I've decided that if I had the chance to rewind and do-over, I'd alter my headpiece to be this classic style. I think. Although, I did love, no, ADORED my veil; it was my mother's and she hand-made it for her wedding in 1976. I've wanted to wear it since I was tiny. But I think the actual headpiece would have worked perfectly with the birdcage. Ces't la vie. As it was, my wedding was beautiful and special and fun. And I still wouldn't change a thing. It was "me". :)

Three of my favorite images from my wedding: (because I can!)

(Edit: Okay. I've tried everything to make my images appear as a smaller version of themselves. Nothing works. Frustrated.)

two and a quarter

2008-12-16T11:06:00.000-08:00

This may be a silly date to recognize, but today Rob and I have been married for 2 years and three months.

In the last 24 hours I have been realizing through various examples what a fragile thing a truly good relationship is, and I do not take one moment of the last twenty-seven months for granted. Each day we share on good terms is a gift that I want to be aware of more and more. I've seen and heard of so many marriages that have fallen apart either outwardly (legal divorce) or inwardly (legally married, but divorced in every other way), and I know that my marriage is not immune to the attacks of the enemy. Only by pure grace do we both want to love each other and be conduits* to each other of the grace that we have been the recipients of.

Today, I am asking for another two and a quarter years with Rob, even though I don't deserve it based on anything I have done, and neither does he. But I proceed forward knowing that our relationship- past, present, and future, is a blood-bought mercy, based on the righteousness that we have in Christ. And on that basis, I ask for MORE. More sweet times, more tough times, more to learn by, more to grow through, more opportunities to be patient, kind, loving, and tenderhearted... more laughter, and even more tears. I'll take it all, with no reservations.

Cuz I can't get enough of you, Baby!

* a general term for a means of conveying something [grace] from one location [God] to another [Rob]

vintage loveliness

2008-12-09T08:14:00.001-08:00

I want to dress like this vintage beauty:

There are some people who can pull that off so well, but I think you almost have to style yourself like that all the time in order to really do it well and not look like you're dressing up in a costume. But still... so lovely. ::sigh::

Maybe I'll try something vintage-inspired for my company christmas party on Saturday.

so dang fun

2008-12-05T16:39:00.000-08:00

I know I've already blogged like three times already today, but I don't think there's a limit... is there? Bsides my readership is pretty small, so it's not like I'm bothering a lot of people. ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to pop on and say that my husby makes my life SO fun. Not extravagant fun; just the simple, easy, favorite-jeans-that-always-make-my-butt-look-good kind of fun. :)

Tonight our plans got a little messed up by circumstances beyond our control, and we found ourselves at home instead of out. Rob suggested a low-key dinner since I hadn't planned on making anything, so he popped a coupla corndogs in the oven while I opened a can of *gasp* cream o' mushroom soup. (hahaha, we never eat like this!) When the corndogs came out of the oven and the soup was hot, we had a wordless conversation (you know, the kind where girl makes a questioning noise and boy answers with an affirmative grunt), shared two quick kisses that honestly made my heart race, and now he's playing an old-school video game and I'm surfing the web. He just told me that we're gonna go grab late-night happy hour at the Green Mill down the road. :D

I love my life. I love my man.

pomegranates

2008-12-05T16:08:00.001-08:00

Rob showed me the best way to... peel? hull? break into? a pomegranate tonight. Fill a medium-sized bowl with cold water, cut the fruit into quarters, then hold each piece under water to break the seeds loose. Easy-peasy! No red splatters or stains, no little particles of white flesh sticking all over (it floats, the seeds sink! Genius.) and the cleanup is really simple too.

I didn't take any pictures of the process, but here's the end result- a bowl of luscious seeds, practically begging to be popped into my mouth:

definitely in the top three

2008-12-05T06:44:00.000-08:00

Love this shirt.

(And the song.)

I hope you had the time of your life...

2008-12-05T06:28:00.000-08:00

Comment with one memory of a time that you and I spent together. It doesn't matter if you know me well or not, just post anything you can remember. Although... some of you might have some interesting memories that I'd rather leave forgotten! Just kidding. I think. ;)

I'll respond with my own memories of us, too!

Bonus points if you know the song from which this post's title came from. :)

my dadster

2008-12-01T06:31:00.000-08:00

That's a mashup of "dad" and "pastor", because my dad is my pastor. :)

As long as I can remember, Dad's been a pastor; he was ordained in 1980 after apprenticing under Albie Pearson for six or so years. We have pictures of him preaching at his first little church in Reno with my brother David on his shoulders... so this pastoring gig has been a way of life for us Storeys. I used to hate the pressures of being a "P.K.", but now I'm grateful and appreciative for the sacrifices that were necessary, and the grace that the Lord always gave us as Dad dedicated himself to full-time service.

I can remember many, many times that anyone would have given up trying to shepherd and gotten a "real job" with grateful recipients of his labors and a steady salary, but my Dad has held fast to what the Lord has called him to with unwavering faith and steady determination. I don't think I personally know anyone with stronger faith than my Dad. Without fail he always, always trusts the Lord, no matter what opposition he encounters, or no matter what the situation look like in the moment. I know there were many months that rent was paid at the last minute, or dinner came from Grandma, but Dad never gave up. Even now, when he hasn't taken a salary raise in 15 years and making ends meet isn't easy, and there are still people who gossip and slander, he presses on in the calling that the Lord gave him. He is faithful.

While there are many traits that go into making up a good pastor, my Dad excels in the number-one most important: being immersed in the Word. I can remember getting up at 3:30 am when I worked at Starbucks during college, I'd come out to the kitchen to make coffee and there Dad would be, on the couch, Bible in hand, reading and praying. I don't know why it surprised me every time I saw him there, but it did. Who voluntarily gives up their sleep at 3:30 in the middle of the night?? Apparently my Dad does. And he has been keeping that pattern for years, so my Mom says. Now I know why the enemy has been held at bay in so many areas of my life, in our family, and in our church. Dad knows how to call on the One with unending strength when his own strength fails.

Dad's also a man of prayer. My guess is that he spends roughly 15 hours a week in actual active prayer. Whenever I ask Dad for advice on a seemingly impossible situation, his answer always ends with "go to the Word. And, honey, you just have to pray more." It used to frustrate me. I wanted an answer, darnit! None of this live-by-faith stuff, Dad... just tell me what to do! Oh how glad and grateful I am that Dad pastored me to go straight to the Source and seek His face for my answers.

The amount of Scripture Dad knows never ceases to amaze me. He's read his One-Year Bible through (and finished early!) for the past 15 years, and he always carries some form of the Word with him at all times, whether its his little pocket Psalms & New Testament, or a full-size Bible in whatever translation he's currently reading and mulling over. The man is steeped in the Word, I tell ya. Whenever I'm having trouble recalling where a certain verse is, or who said "be tenderhearted and forgiving", he knows pretty much right away that it was "Paul in Ephesians 4... maybe around verse 32 or so". Even when I'm looking something up using Bible software, he almost always finds it first, either in his own mind or in a hard copy Bible. He just knows his stuff. He never quits learning.

But more importantly than knowing where verses are, or what Greek word is used, he lives it out. He truly is a servant-leader who lays down his life for his church and his family. His sermons are always full of truth, he truly delights in praying and worshiping for hours, and he longs to see the glory of the Lord fill the earth... and I know he won't stop preaching the Gospel until he's called home. Then he'll revel in the glory he spoke of for so long.

And there will be many, many, MANY there enjoying that glory with him, because of his obedience to the call to preach the Word.

wave o' babies

2008-11-12T07:10:00.000-08:00

Loads of my friends are having babies. I'm serious... loads (or should I say "tons"? haha). I've been keeping a running list of almost-mamas on my iPhone out of necessity, updating as the teeny-tinys make their grand appearances. It's been such fun to get the news, pray for each of my dear girl friends as they go through their pregnancies, and then send off little packages carrying itty-bitty gifts to the brand-new people!

It's amazing how two people (together with God, of course) can create a whole new person who didn't exist at all before. I don't think I'll ever grow tired of hearing one of my friends say "we're expecting!!", it will always bring a huge smile to my heart and happy tears to my eyes. And I've heard that news no less than eleven times this year. That's right, ELEVEN of my personal, close girl friends are either pregnant or have had a baby this year (that's not counting casual acquaintances or Crossings pals). Kind of incredible... and very wonderful. :)

For the record, here's my list:

Bethany Barry (childhood friend)-- Faith Loraine, born 7.27.08 (at 32 weeks, she's a miracle baby)

Jessica Gulbranson (MN friend in our small group)-- Simon James, born 8.6.2008

Erica Jones (childhood friend)-- Caden Tyler, born 8.18.2008

Megan Hulson (sister-in-law)-- Owen Peter, born 9.15.2008 For some strange reason I don't have one snap with *both* Megan and baby Owen, so I'm settling for one of Chris (Rob's bro)and Megan right before O was born, and one of Wade (C&M's first son) with Owen. But that's allowed cuz they're family!

Jennifer Schmidt (sister-in-law)-- due with Baby 2 in January

April Williamson (friend from Nashville)-- due with Baby 2 in January

Erika Jackson (friend from Nashville)-- due with Baby Boy 1 in January

Cassidy Harper (friend from Portland)-- due with Baby Girl 1 in January

Katie Allen (MN friend from church)--due with Baby 2 in January

Alisa Craig (MN friend from church)-- due with Baby 1 in April (ack- I don't have a single picture of Alisa!)

Johanna Puelston (MN friend in our small group)-- found out this Sunday that she's due with Baby 1 in mid-July!

Wowzers. Here's to (apparently!) happy marriages, and kiddos who grow up to be Jesus-lovers! Congrats, my dear friends... and God be with you. :)

(PS- ten points to anyone who knows the TGS reference in the title!)

happy monday!

2008-11-10T09:19:00.000-08:00

I have had a very busy and full weekend with the TBI seminar (I only went to Friday night, I just was sooo tired to go on Saturday morning) and Grace's wedding, the after-party, and then going to chat with our mechanic about our elderly car's health.

Seminar:
Like I said, I only went to Friday evening, but I'm very glad I did. The topic was God's sovereignty over suffering. At first I was just listening, but about half-way through everything he was saying was gripping me mentally. Bottom line: God is not only in control of all things, good and bad, but He will get glory from them, and He is working for my GOOD. It's such a comfort to remember that He is indeed in complete control, even if what I'm most afraid of comes to pass. I can bank on that. It's like stepping onto a rock just under the surface of the water... scary because you don't really know if it's going to be a good foothold, but once you test your weight on it, you find that it's firm and solid. The more I trust Him, the more He is seen as trustworthy to people around me. And He is! Man, how often I forget that He's planning my steps and orchestrating things for my good. I don't think the opposite, I just forget. And then go about my daily business as if I am in ultimate control, when in reality, my next breath is a gift from Him. Whew.

In light of that concept I've been much much much more aware of the things in my life that please and delight me, and more aware that they are gifts, to be enjoyed as an act of worship toward the Giver. My struggle right now is that I don't want to hold on to these gifts too tightly, as if they are the ultimate source of my joy. I want to enjoy them, obviously, but not idolize them. I mainly struggle with this in regards to my relationships (Rob, parents, brothers), and not so much with "stuff" that I have. I don't want to make any person my idol, to the point that if they were taken from me my world would crash and my life would cease to have meaning. At the same time, I want to enjoy each relationship to the fullest, showing my gratitude and the worth of the Giver. Like when you get a Christmas present, your enjoyment and use of it not only shows how much you like the gift, but that the person who gave it means a lot to you. More than the gift, but not to the exclusion of the gift. Eh, I feel like I'm talking in circles a little bit. It was a good seminar that really got me thinking again. :-)

Wedding:
Rob came home from the second half of the seminar around 1pm and made us lunch- grilled cheese and tomato soup! What a lover! We got all fancied up and left for the wedding around 3. I wasn't really anticipating seeing a whole lot of people I know; Grace and I didn't really run in the same circles in the Institute, but I was pleasantly surprised! During the ceremony we sat with two of the Jensen siblings (Erin and Chris) with whom I had gone on a ski/snowboard trip in Colorado in 2005, and at the reception we were seated with them again, and also my friend Rynelle Emhof from Dallas. There were others at our table and we all blended together very well and really had a fun time. The reception was in a historic courthouse and was simply lovely... white twinkle-lights everywhere and happy music and laughter. Grace was a gorgeous bride (as anyone who knows her would imagine) and she seemed to be marrying a great guy. Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have, but you can still see how beautiful and happy they were!

After the wedding, we initiated an after-party in Burnsville (southern suburb of Minneapolis) that turned out to be bigger and more fun than I originally thought. At first we were just going to get together with the Jensens, and we went home to change first. I was struck with a terrific headache, so after changing and getting a soothing neck/shoulder rub from Rob, I wasn't thrilled to be leaving again. Especially since it was about 9pm. Ha, we're such old married folk... we're usually heading for bed around 10 these days! But we figured that we don't have friends in the area that are up for some late-night merriment, so we'd better take advantage of it while we could! After popping two Tylenol and wearing come comfy clothes, I was in the mood for fun again. Nobody knew of a good place to go in Burnsville, so I picked a place on the map that "sounded good" and told everyone where to meet us. At first glance, it looked like a trailer-trash pub, but once inside, it proved to be quite the cozy little lodge-styled restaurant. Absolutely perfect. We had a grand time chatting and laughing until who-knows-when. :)

Sunday was a glorious sleep-in day, followed by a delicious French toast breakfast (with a red rose from Rob, who had popped over to Cup for bacon!) and a Driscoll sermon. After clean-up we went to check on the little white car, which was at our mechanic's place...

Car:
I guess 1996 was a long time ago, and nearly 300k miles is quite a few. Turns out that a major part of the underneath of the drive shaft (ha, I don't really know if that's the right term) has to be replaced, along with the front rotors on each wheel. Poor little car, we didn't know it was so sick! It's still drivable as-is, so we're going to take it back to him next week when it is more convenient for us to be with out an extra car, and for him to work on it. Here's hoping we don't break the [rather fragile] bank!

The Remainder:
Upon returning home, we realized that there was still time for the Sacred Sunday Nap®, so we happily availed ourselves... and woke up at 7pm!! Heh. So popcorn, apples, cookies, and hot chocolate were "dinner", as is usual on Sundays...ah I love traditions!

Speeeeaaaaaking of "tradition", we watched half of Fiddler On The Roof while munching on said dinner. :) I'd mentioned to Rob a few times in the last year or so that I'd like to watch it with him sometime, but we didn't own it. He wasn't super-keen on seeing it, but he's happy to do things with me that make me happy. On Friday I came home from work and saw a brand-new DVD sitting on the table... none other than Fiddler. I exclaimed my delight, and Rob was charmingly chagrined at himself for leaving it out; he was planning on saving it as a "surprise". Heh, I'd say I was pretty surprised right then! Golly, what a guy I have!

So yeah, last night we watched it, up to the intermission, at which point we figured we'd better try to go back to sleep if we were going to be any good in the morning. I love days like that... sometimes it's just so fun to make slightly unwise choices that are a heckofa lot of FUN with the one person who means the most to ya! It reminded me a little of when we sat up all night more than once to finish an entire season of 24 in like... 3 days?? Good times!

And that brings me to Monday. Today. Right now. Gosh, I wasn't intending on this being a play-by-play of my weekend, but there ya have it; "a weekend in the life of R&R".

The end. ;-)

she bangs

2008-11-07T13:00:00.001-08:00

No, not the Ricky Martin song (or the butchering of it by American Idol contestant William Hung). I'm talking about my hair. Yep, I went ahead and did zee bangs last night. So far, I think I like it, and I think it will grow on me (no pun intended. really) as I get used to this style. I've already been told by more than one person that I look like Agent 99 from the old Get Smart TV series. Heh, okay... there are worse things to be compared to, I suppose. :)

As promised, here are pictures:

downI got quite a bit of length taken off, too

up

Sorry about the bad quality of the photos. Do you know how hard it is to get good hair pictures in a dim bathroom holding a slippery iPhone with one hand? Well, it's hard. Very.

In other news, it snowed for the first time today! We didn't know this until Rob walked out the door this morning at 7:00, without a jacket. haha It's okay though, because it's not really all that cold. It was much prettier than you can tell in this picture, somehow the quick iPhone snap doesn't exactly capture flurries all that well. Huh. Whodathunk? ;)

And now, with about half an hour left in my work-week, I'm off! Rob and I are going to an open-to-anyone TBI weekend seminar tonight and tomorrow morning, then going to a wedding Saturday evening. All in the snow, as more is supposedly expected tonight and tomorrow. What fun! Happy weekend, all!

explanation

2008-11-07T12:32:00.000-08:00

The previous post of gratuitous public flattery for my husband was a response to Abraham Piper's 50-word post challenge on his blog, 22words. But I wasn't wracking my brain to come up with *something* for the challenge... it just flowed off my fingers. He's just that good. Yes, indeed.

Hair pictures forthcoming, for those who have asked. (Those who have not asked, you can look at them too. Cuz I'm nice like that.)

Rob: in 50 words

2008-11-07T11:11:00.000-08:00

Handsome. Passionate. Spontaneous. Sweet. Zany. Deep. Hilarious. Talented. Singer. Entertaining. Witty. Thoughtful. Tender. Fun. Godly. Happy. Compassionate. Understanding. Kind. Listener. Hardworking. Learner. Thinker. Seeker. Witness. Selfless. Inspiring. Strong. Faithful. Caring. Helpful. Accommodating. Confident. Influencer. Wise. Adventurous. Servant. Leader. Intentional. Genuine. Devoted. Risky. Self-sacrificing. Stylish. Crazy. Loving. Hot! Mine!

to bang or not to bang?

2008-11-06T09:33:00.000-08:00

I have a haircut appointment at the Aveda Institute in downtown Minneapolis at 5:15 today. I love the Aveda Inst. because you can get great haircuts by people who have been trained very well and are "higher-end" than your local SuperCuts (or whatever the equivilant is up North here, I don't know) for not a single penny more. And the whole place just feels trendy and fun. :) They do take a loooooong time though, which doesn't bother me, but I think Rob wishes he could get in and out in 20 minutes, like at SuperCuts. I just remind him that "there are sacrifices you have to make for fashion!".

Anyway, I don't know what I should do with my mop-top. I've had basically the SAME hair since forever. I do love my length though... so I'm not quite ready to do a big chop. I love my color, so I'm not changing that. (how can I betray the brunette sisterhood?? And anyway, I always get the "oh my gosh is that your natural color??" at every. single. salon I go to) But I'm feeling the change-of-season itch to do SOMETHING different. The only thing I can think of is to do bangs again. I've had them before, but it's been a while. I like the look a LOT; it makes me feel instantly edgier and trendier in whatever outfit I'm wearing, and it's so gosh darn easy to manage. No strands falling in my eye (that I always end up pinning with a bobby in a very 3rd-grade look), very few bad hair days, and it looks good when the rest of my hair is up, down, wavy, or straight.

The only catch is that it's not Rob's favorite look on me. I'm not exactly sure what he doesn't like about the straight-across bangs, but his favorite on me is the side-swept bang that I always do. Although he said he doesn't mind, and he'll like whatever I end up doing. What a guy! :)

All that said, I'm looking for some ideas to give me the change and ease I'm craving... and I'm open to suggestions. Any ideas?

Here's a quick snap of me at my desk this very minute:

And here's a few shots of me with the bangage, so you all can see what it looks like in various renditions:

Also, I think this style on Anne Hathaway is totally hot.

Edit: Hrmm, why did those last three pictures post so BIG, and get cut off on the right side??

oh yeah...

2008-11-04T11:40:00.001-08:00

duh, how could I forget? I heard a rumor that Starbucks is giving away free tall brewed coffees if you are wearing your "I voted" sticker, so I decided to go in and find out. Yup, 'tis true; you can get a free brew for rockin' the red sticker. I ran across two lists of other places that are taking part in the free offers to those who vote: WalletPop and Slickdeals

So in the spirit of popular opinion, go take advantage of these great freebies-- especially since Starbucks, et al, are big, rich corporations so they definitely don't deserve to be paid another cent outta my poor pocket for the coffee/donuts/beer/chocolate fondue/college education I get from them. I deserve to get it for free because I want it, and there are plenty of other people who pay for it anyway. (gosh, I wish that worked every day)

(and yes, I did paint my fingernails black. Because it's basic)

and also...

2008-11-04T08:50:00.000-08:00

...today is my baby brother's 22nd birthday!

I remember the day that Jeffry was born very well-one set of grandparents were volunteering at the polls, and I was staying with the other grandparents while my parents were at the hospital. Earlier in mom's pregnancy with Jeff there had been some complications (I think I remember that he wasn't growing as much as he should have been at one point) so we all had prayed a lot for him. We didn't know it was a "him" though, so I was earnestly praying for the little sister I thought I wanted so badly. Well, at some point in the afternoon my grandma interrupted my roller-skating to tell me that I had another new little brother. I remember feeling disappointed. Ha ha, poor Jeff. Little did I know how much I would treasure being the big sis of three brothers! With no one to steal my clothes and makeup. ;) Our parents named the newest brother, Jeffry Ellis Isaac Storey. Evidently mom's labor had been particularly easy, and because of the relief of knowing he was okay in there, she spent much of the labor laughing (WTH??), hence Isaac, which means "laughter" in Hebrew. I guess Dad liked Elijah, but it was vetoed by my mom, who offered the modern form, "Ellis" as consolation. So three names it was. I got over my disappointment of not having a sister as soon as I saw the cute little guy, and consoled myself by dressing him in my old baby/child clothes a couple of times. As I did with my other brothers... more than once, and beyond the point of them being "babies", for which I got into great trouble by my dad who was adamantly raising "manly men". He succeeded, by the way. :) I wouldn't trade my brothers for the world. And that's an understatement.

[my wedding day, September, 2006]
Jeff has never really embodied the classic "baby of the family" persona (charmer, class clown, etc), he's always been secure in himself, independent, socially laid back, with an intense, take-charge personality that needs to get things right and direct people into doing things right (earning him the nickname "Boss of the Earth", among others). He's has always been the daredevil of the family; the rest of us would build snowboard (or skateboard, or bike, or trampoline) jumps and send Jeff down them first to see what needed to be perfected. Haha, what a little trooper he was! I have a bazillion pictures; one even shows Jeff as a small speck in the top of a tree, poised to jump off onto our trampoline, but of course they're all at my parents' house in Nevada, and I'm here in Minneapolis. This is the earliest picture I have right now, it was taken in Septemberish of 2000 when Jeff got his puppy, Champ.

[14. I think?]
Being the baby, Jeff always ended up on the receiving end of a lot of jokes. Like the time he got 98 mosquito bites (yes, we counted) and I told him it was a good thing he didn't get 100 because his face would droop down. He believed me with all of his little 6-year-old heart, especially since about a week later we just so happened to see a lady who had apparently suffered a stroke that caused her face to droop, who I pointed out as confirmation to my warning. I don't know when he realized I was pulling his leg. hahahaha He has loads of nicknames, including "Buka" (borrowed from a small child in church) which morphed into "Pika-Buka" because somehow the other boys found out that a certain disorder which causes people to eat one odd thing (like dirt) to the exclusion of anything else is called a pika. As a kid, Jeff was a picky eater, hence that name. (he eats everything now!) We also called him "Freckle-Eye" because he has a little freckle in the corner of his left eye. Once while at a mall with his pals, we got separated and decided to have Jeff paged... over the loudspeaker he heard "will Freckle-Eye Storey please come to the information booth, your party is waiting" while the rest of us dissolved in laughter. His most common nickname is "Geo-fry", shortened to "Geo". We got this from seeing the alternate spelling, "Geoffery". To this day we call him Geo. He was and is such a good sport! Once, he let me dress him & style his hair and take a bunch of pictures of him when I was taking a photography class in college, obligingly posing as I told him to.
[about 16]
In the last few years I've seen a transformation take place in Jeffry. He's gone from tagalong cute kid brother to a smart, responsible, good-looking young man, able to give advice even to his older brothers and sister. This obviously happened very gradually with him moving into his own place in Tahoe with David, getting a car, then moving far away to Idaho, and starting his own business.

[Christmas 2005]
But it took me by surprise when visiting my family in November of last year to realize that my baby brother is very grown up. I watched him talk on the phone with clients (double his age or more), draw up legal paperwork with the advice of lawyer friends, make wise business contacts, read books, network, and think through business plans and strategies. I was impressed. This is a guy with a sharp head on his shoulders who is going places and doing things with his life. Wow, that's my lil bro? The one who believed I had a removable, talking mole on my foot? Yeah, it is, and I'm so proud of the man he's becoming.

I love ya, Geo, and pray for you every day that you will not only be successful in your business ventures, but also that you would grow into the image of Christ more with every new year. Happy Birthday, brother-friend!

[Atlanta, April 2008]

[Idaho-Nevada road trip, 2008]

[Idaho-Nevada road trip, 2008]

true confessions

2008-11-04T07:43:00.000-08:00

I just voted... for the very first time in my life.

Yep, that's right. Before today (2 hours ago, actually) I had never voted in any election, for any reason. Shocking, I know, but there's always been a good reason, I promise. The first time I was able to vote was 1996, and I intended to vote in the presidential elections (Clinton's second term) but for some reason my registration didn't go through in time; my 18th birthday was just about two weeks before election day. The next presidential election was in 2000 (W's first term), and I was all ready to vote, got to the polls, and they told me they didn't have my name on the list, AGAIN. This time it was because the DMV didn't notice (?) that I had checked the "yes, register me to vote" box when I renewed my license. I actually got an apology from a DMV worker saying that the ball was dropped on their end. So, no vote that year either. In 2004 (W's second term) I was living in Nashville and my absentee ballot didn't arrive in the mail on time for me to fill it out and mail it back. Another home-run for the system, thanks guys!

Now, I realize that voting occurs more often than every 4 years, but I had never voted in any other elections either. I don't know why, other than I've never been "in to" politics and all that. Not that I didn't care... just that I didn't care enough, or more accurately, I didn't know enough to care. Perhaps that's irresponsible, but at this point, it's neither here nor there. Right now at this point in my life, I'm learning a bit more about political things and am starting to fill out in the knowledge area. (I'm getting political curves! haha) I am definitely grateful, very grateful, for the privilege of voting, and even more so for the privilege of praying for the leaders of my country. As far as my thoughts on the candidates? Neither of them is a savior (or, "just what this country needs!"). I think it's ridiculous to view them as such, and I've been seeing/hearing a lot of talk that approaches that, which makes me tend to back away from the issues rather than get all fired up about them. But ya gotta give me some credit, I have been trying to do the opposite by exposing myself to the issues and think through things in order to make an informed decision, and that's been very interesting. I'm still not gung-ho about either candidate or all the issues, but I AM gung-ho about praying for our country... just as I pray for the rest of the world; that we would trust in the saving power of Jesus, even if our world comes crashing down around us; and not confuse [American] patriotism with Christianity, but to glorify God in all I do, including voting. At this point in my journey of political knowledge, that's my over-arching mindset.

There are two songs that have been circling through my mind today, both by Derek Webb. The first is called A King And A Kingdom, and speaks about the concept that our loyalty is not to a fleeting world power, but to Jesus and His eternal Kingdom that will never pass away.

A King And A Kingdom

Who is your brother? Who is your sister?
You just walked past him. I think you missed her,
As we’re all migrating to a place where our father lives
Because we married into a family of emigrants.

So my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
My first allegiance is not to democracy or blood.
It’s to a king and kingdom.

There are two great lies that I’ve heard.
The day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die.
And that Jesus Christ was a white middle class republican
And if you want to be saved you have to learn to be like him.

So my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or to a man.
My first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
It’s to a king and a kingdom.

But nothing unifies like a common enemy
And we’ve got one, sure as hell.
He may be living in your house.
He may be raising up your kids.
He may be sleeping with your wife.
He may not look like you think.

And the second, A Savior On Capitol Hill is less about the eternal Kingdom and more about not putting all our hope (sound familiar?) into a man who is, like me, crooked deep down.

A Savior On Capitol Hill

I’m so tired of these mortal men
with their hands on their wallets and their hearts full of sin
scared of their enemies, scared of their friends
and always running for re-election
so come to DC if it be thy will
because we’ve never had a savior on Capitol Hill

you can always trust the devil or a politician
to be the devil or a politician
but beyond that friends you’d best beware
’cause at the Pentagon bar they’re an inseparable pair
and as long as the lobbyists are paying their bills
we’ll never have a savior on Capitol Hill

all of our problems gonna disappear
when we can whisper right in that President’s ear
he could walk right across the reflection pool
in his combat boots and ten thousand dollar suit

you can render unto Caesar everything that’s his
you can trust in his power to come to your defense
it’s the way of the world, the way of the gun
it’s the trading of an evil for a lesser one
so don’t hold your breath or your vote until
you think you’ve finally found a savior up on Capitol Hill

So while I know that I should learn more, and take advantage of the awesome privilege of voting, at the same time my loyalties and my hope lie in the ultimate King. And while I am unashamedly, proudly American, I'm first and foremost a champion of the Glory of God and His saving Gospel. And I'm going to take the most action on "getting the word out" to win people over to His party.

creepy-funny

2008-10-31T06:09:00.000-07:00

I drove to work today behind Cruella DeVille. It must be Halloween.... :D

ten things I like about life

2008-10-30T06:14:00.000-07:00

I'm making an effort to slow down and look for "joy in the journey"; on the premise that life isn't about arriving at a destination, it's about traveling along the road. And everyone knows road trips are no fun if you're always asking "are we there yet" instead of looking at the scenery as you go. So, I've been noticing that there are a few things that make me smile on the inside. They're not big, spectacular, or even very special; they are just tiny, little, ordinary things that warm my heart and give me a little surge of happy.

In no particular order, here are my current* top ten:

the sound of the coffee grinder in the morning

a hot bath

that warm, glowy feeling after said hot bath

the sound of a text message

finding money in an unexpected place

Chester-kitty purring

a spontaneous kiss in public

a certain pair of jeans on my husband

Bonne Bell Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers

catching a whiff of Rob's delicious man-cologne

What are some little things that delight you?

*of course, these will probably change over time-- as I notice new things, I'll make a new list. However, that won't change the fact that I still like what's on this first list.

fall vacay!

2008-10-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

Blast it all, I've been trying to write this post for the last three days. It's been sitting on my desktop and I've been adding to it bit by bit between tasks at work, so if it sounds chopped up, well... it is. :) It's already been a busy week and it's only Wednesday.

Personally, I think the government should instate Thursday as the new Friday in this country. (that goes against most of my political views, haha) Then we could all always have delightful little 3-day pockets of time to really relax and actually get refreshed instead of cramming all the housework into one day and spending the other sleeping to recover . If I were running in this election, that would be my first bill... now you all know who to vote for! Or something. :) I'm so not political. Ha.

Anyway, we had a WONDERFUL weekend at "our" cabin doing pretty much nothing. (I say "our" because we've been there once before and it felt so homey, we plan on going back often) We left our apartment in St. Anthony around 6:30 pm on Thursday, after being informed by Aaron (the guy we'd been corresponding with about renting the cabin) that the construction (!) and rain had rendered the road to the cabin un-drivable. He offered to give us a gift certificate for a free night, seeing as we were definitely not interested in staying home. Who cares about a little mud anyway? We just swung into Wal-Mart to grab some flashlights and set off. The cabin is part of Camp Lebanon, in Melrose, MN but it's a good ways away from the main camp (ie, lots of buildings and people, if there's an event, which there wasn't).

[zoomed in; we're the blue dot on the shore of the lake!]

When we got there, it was pitch dark and we did indeed have to park down by the main lodge and tromp through the woods at night carrying our bags to get to our secluded cabin. It was actually a fun, adventurous way to kick off the weekend!
[the cabin. from the front; the road is off to the left of the picture]

I've always considered myself a "city girl" in that I prefer city activities (driving, shopping, dressing up, seeing lights and action) over country or outdoorsy ones (hiking, camping, dirt, bugs). But I'll tell ya, this last weekend was pure bliss. There was nothing to do! Nowhere to go! Not even any internet! *gasp* And I liked it. The stillness and peacefulness of being very far away from civilization was so... refreshing in contrast with my usual busy, electronic life. I even enjoyed making food again (this is no small wonder). I'm still not going to say that hiking and actual camping- the kind that involves sleeping on the ground and cooking in the dirt- are high on my "enjoyed activities" list, but THIS kind of camping, in a log cabin with real beds/showers/toilets, is just my style. It had all the benefits of getting away from the usual scene, enjoying the quiet and gorgeous scenery, and even cooking over fire... with none of the things I hate, like being dirty and trying to get clean using only cold groundwater. I think that if it had been a little warmer, I would have even gone for a walk. :) [from the front door]

As it was, we contented our need to be out in nature by swinging on the porch swing and taking pictures of the scenery and each other. And of course trying to start wood fires, but succeeding only in starting charcoal briquets on fire in the BBQ. :)

[the porch swing]

[a piece of flying flesh!]

[hey, a normal one]

[why am I the only one who does goofy solo poses?]

[Handsome Rob]

[taking a picture]

[the picture]

[fire attempts]

Rob did most of the actual cooking- outside on the grill! But I still planned the meals and prepped the food. We ate like kings. Steak and grilled veggies (yellow squash and red bell peppers) with biscuits the first night, followed by s'mores and popcorn (microwave, haha!) while watching Patriot Games on the lappy (heck yes we brought it). Bacon-wrapped salmon, wild rice, yams, and more grilled veggies the second night, with brownies and cold milk for dessert. I think everything tastes 100x better when cooked over open flames. Which is convenient, since Rob loves those flames! Breakfast was eggs and bacon one day, blueberry muffins the next, and... something I can't remember for the day we left. [fiiiyah!]

[dinner, day one]

[mmmmm]

Much of our time was spent talking and reading. And sleeeeeeping! Sunday morning it snowed, so we spent the better part of an hour curled up on the couch watching the flakes swirl. I felt like Jess in The Man From Snowy River when the The Man (what was his name again?) whisks her off to his cabin in the "highlands" and it's all windy outside, but they're insulated from not only the weather but from all the cares of the outside world as well. It's a gooooood feeling.

The cabin is rustic (made out of real logs! Like Laura Ingalls' house!) but totally modern and actually quite spacious. It has a large living/dining room with a handy kitchenette, a good-sized bathroom, a small bedroom (with a huge bed), and a loft above the bedroom that holds two twin beds. The whole front of the cabin is windows, with a wooden deck wrapping around it, and it faces the lake.

[bedroom, from the kitchenette]

[in zee kitchen. bathroom is on the other side of the wall behind me]

[looking out into the living/dining room from the kitch]

[turned slightly left]

[look up- windows!]

[look left-- loft!]

[view from the loft]

We left on Sunday around 3ish. Rob decided to brave the muddy road and see if he could pull the car up to the cabin door. I'm so glad he did, because somehow our stuff had multiplied while we were there and I wasn't relishing the thought of hiking to our car in the windy/snowy/freezing weather, hauling our bags over the mud. For the record, the "stuff" that had multiplied was food, since we had taken a little trip into town for a few things we needed, like y'know, the steak. ;) I really did actually pack light; we shared one duffel bag that contained all our clothing and toiletries and shoes. I promise! After all, why pack much when there are no actual activities to be at? This was a breakthrough for me. However, I still managed to bring one whole outfit that I never wore, which is noticeable in the pictures. They are from all three days, despite the fact that I'm wearing the exact. same. thing. in each picture. I don't think the trees cared. heh heh

So, fall vacay is officially over. My appetite is definitely whetted to go back next year!

thirty, flirty, and thriving

2008-10-23T13:30:00.000-07:00

I'm loving being 30. I feel so... legit. Bona-fide. Old. hahahahaha Seriously, I had a really grand birthday, with my mom's visit and some special surprises from my Dad, brothers, and Rob.

Saturday was spent treasure hunting with Mom, AKA thrifting. :) We must have gone to 5 or 6 huge thrift stores, and we found quite a few treasures. I wish I would have gotten pictures when we brought all the loot back to show Rob, but I didn't think of it at the time. Consequently, I had to got through my closet and find the new stuff and compile it to take these pictures. I fear I may have left something out. No, wait... I know I did. A fabulous little retro cooler with a white and turquoise naugahyde cover. Darn. I'll have to get a picture later. It really is cool. [snicker] Not to mention, I didn't get shots of any of Mom's stuff, and she got some real finds. Like two cashmere sweaters, a long hot pink wool coat [jealous] and other things that I can't remember anymore.

Here's my catch o' the day:

orange wool sweater with horizontal ribbing on the bodice, $2.95
yellow scarf, $.99
green scarf with "irene" embroidered on it, $.99
chocolate brown tie-front merino wool sweater, $5.00
cotton cream sweater with black stripes, $2.99
cozy emerald green scarf, $3.99

I forgot to include the perfectly tailored navy blue wool vest, $3.99

And these shoes for $4.99:

Of course I can't go anywhere, especially not thrifting, without seeing something for Rob. In fact, I think I almost like shopping for him better than I like shopping for myself. Yes, I think I do... there's no "butt anxiety" when shopping for men. (ie, "does my butt look fat in this??") You just get it and pretty much know that it's going to fit if the numbers are right. :)

Here's Rob's stash:

burgundy merino wool sweater vest, $1.99
brown/tan/cream striped rugby-style shirt (longsleeved), $3.99
brand-new (!) Helly Hansen leather insulated boots, $24.99
black/gray striped longsleeved thermal tee, $3.99
orange/brown scarf, $.99
Kenneth Cole leather loafers (minimal wear!), $14.99

Not pictured is a really snappy orange and brown tiny houndstooth tie. All in all, I'm really happy with what we got! (This outfit was inspiration) I don't normally buy shoes in thrift stores, but these were in such great condition, and just so happened to be exactly what we'd been looking for and were his size. So yay for treasures!

I worked on Monday, and the day flew by quickly for some reason. I went home to eat lunch, and when I got back I found these waiting for me on my desk:
All my co-workers got together and signed the card. How sweet, huh?

That night we (Mom, Rob & I) went out to eat at India Palace in Roseville, and it was smashingly delicious. We ordered several dishes and shared them, family-style. There were definitely leftovers (that I am glad I didn't forget at Andria's house later that night!)

Tuesday was my actual birthday... I got to laze in bed, eat a yummy breakfast made by Rob, then after talking and whatever for the rest of the morning, we went to Cupcake for lunch. Next door was Art & Arctechure, a place that Mom has mentioned wanting to go to since she first visited me in Minneapolis, we just never had time or knew where it was. Surprise, surprise! It's basically a "boneyard" for old house parts; they re-sell archetecural pieces to people who want to use them in their remodel or new construction. There were loads of interesting things like entire arched doorways (complete with jambs), old movie marquee lettering, industrial kitchen elements, stamped tin ceiling tiles, and small stuff like lamps and antique furnature and curios. Too bad we didn't have more time, it would have been fun to pick through. As it was, we did manage to take a few pictures!

We dropped Mom at the airport at 3:00ish, then Rob and I went to the MOA to make a makeup exchange. I got a lip gloss and an eyeliner that I had been coveting for a while, and I talked Rob into trying on a fedora, while I took his picture and kissed him. He was obliging enough to dance a few swing moves and spin me around... in Nordstroms. Heh heh heh. What a good sport.

When we got home I found this waiting for me from my Dad and all three brothers:

Then Rob took me out to sushi at our favorite little spot in Maplewood. We had a rockin' good time there! My brother Brian called me to say happy birthday, and when he found out where we were, he asked to talk to our waitress. Yep, that's Brian for ya. She walked off with my phone (!) and after she came back, I've never received so much personal attention at a restaurant in my life. When we got our bill, it had a zero balance with the words "Happy Birthday- Love Brian and Jeff" written across the bottom. Those boys! *love*

I got various presents from Rob throughout the day, and even a surprise in the mail from my blog-friend, Kat, who didn't even know it was my birthday. :) I talked to all my family and special friends on the phone and through e-mail... It was a fabulous birthday!

end of an era

2008-10-20T08:26:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day in my twenties. It's an odd feeling... I don't know whether to be sad or excited, optimistic or nostalgic. So I think I'll be both. Er, all four?

I'm definitely looking forward to growing, changing and getting more sanctified. But a huge part of me feels kinda sad and more than a little scared. Not afraid of the future, but afraid that I don't have enough "life" behind me to be this old. Maybe that doesn't make sense. At any rate, I don't want to look backward because I can't change anything... and there's SO much to look forward to! This is going to be a great decade. I can't wait to see what adventures it holds.

Maybe I'll come back later today and post about what a great decade my twenties were, especially since I kind of did for my teens that a few days ago in my 90's music post. But at the moment, I don't feel like I can attack that kind of a post. I'm kind of emotional and don't want to tap into all that just yet. *sigh*

Mom's still here (yay) and we've been having a great time. Saturday's plan to go to Duluth got vetoed late Friday night when we realized that it was 12:30 and we were still talking. Heh. So we slept in and went treasure-hunting (thrifting) instead. We got some great finds, but I didn't get anything like the outfit I posted below. Oh wait, I did get a bright orange wool sweater with sideways ribbing, so that definitely counts! I'll post pictures of the finds as I'm able (translation: not at work).

Unfortunately I am working today, so I left Mom to her own devices this morning. I think she was more than happy to get the chance to sleep in and have some quiet time to herself with no contractors and nail-bangers in the other room. Bless my dear parents for all the work they've been going through to make our old family home "new" and fresh and welcoming to the hordes of grandchildren that have yet to be born. Or even conceived. :) I'm very very very glad they decided to use mom's inheritance to remodel their current home (since 1997) than selling it and buying a much smaller new home or condo somewhere else. Where would we all sleep when we come home for Christmases?

Anyway, all that to say that I'm happy that today Mom gets to spend some quiet personal time. I'm going to meet her for lunch, then we're going to go out to my birthday dinner tonight (indian food!) before heading to small group at 7, which admittedly throws a bit of a wrench into our plans... but Monday was the day everyone decided on when I asked to change it from our usual Tuesday since I wanted my actual birthday free. That was before we made Mom's flight plans. Oh well. Then Tuesday will be spend lazing around in the morning (maybe walking around Silver Lake?) and lunching at Cupcake after browsing Dinkytown. Mom has to be at the airport at 3:30 (sob) and then I think my Babes has *something* planned for my birthday evening. Then two more days of work before we GO AWAY FOR OUR LONG WEEKEND! Can you tell what I'm looking forward to the most? hahaha

In other news... I plan to talk to my boss today about some changes I desperately NEED at work. Pray that goes well. it could be fabulous or it could be a disaster.

I promise pictures of mom-visit and found treasures asap.

picking up mom

2008-10-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

My mom flies in today at 3:20 (well, hopefully; her plane out of Reno is a little delayed). I'm so excited! Yesterday I made a plan for what we're going to be doing (yup, Erica, an OUTLINE!) and got the house all spiffied up. So I'm just biding my time at work today- seriously, there's nothing to do- before I hop in the car and go pick her up. :) Pictures will be forthcoming, I'm sure.

In other news... I must have an outfit just like this.
Do you know how long and dreary and gray the winters are in Minnesota? Well, they are REALLY long and dreary and gray. Like, from now until May there is nary a blade of grass or leaflet on a tree in sight. And forget blue skies. I must combat this icy-gray world with COLOR! Good thing Mom's coming; I have Tuesday planned for thrifting. :)

lust

2008-10-16T08:12:00.000-07:00

Is it still a sin if the object of my lust is not flesh and blood, but aluminum and glass?
My old (2001) PC laptop died a few weeks ago. It was a peaceful death... the poor thing just couldn't boot up one more time. So it left me completely computer-less for the first time in seven years. It's a strange feeling; I don't know exactly where my "life" is (as in, all the important information, not my identity. haha) I do have a user account on Rob's MacBook, and it's awesome of him to share with me like that, but he's ON his computer all the time for school (rightly so) so I rarely, if ever, touch it any more. I use my iPhone to check my e-mail, surf the web, keep up-to-date on our calendar and other such things, so I'm not totally deprived. There's just something about having an actual computer to have all my stuff in. Photos, programs, projects, and other things that probably don't start with a P. ;) Anyway, after watching the unveiling of the new MacBooks, my desire for a computer to call my own is very much renewed.

Rob has actually been talking about getting a desktop computer (iMac) for school purposes for a while now... and now that the new MacBooks are out, he's seriously considering getting one of those and a desktop display for it. Or selling our current MacBook and replacing it, and getting an iMac for him. And since he still works at Apple (albeit only two days a week) he can get a hefty employee discount, so that helps. He made a little price comparison chart to help us decide:I'm not sure what we're gonna do, but I can say that when I look at that sleek new MacBook, feelings akin to lust well up within me and I want to pop it right out of the screen and onto my lap.

Ew, that was kinda weird. Anyway. I like that Tahoe picture on the screen of the MacBook. :)

ninetys nostalgia

2008-10-15T09:36:00.001-07:00

I love '90's music.

Well, let me clarify: I love '90's rock and alternative music, not Michael Bolton-ish stuff or R. Kelley. (sorry, fans of those guys... all 7 of you)

I've been listening through the '90's music that I have on my iPhone today, and riding the wave of memories. The '90's were a good decade for me; I became a teenager in 1991, got braces and my first crush in 1992 (and danced in the Carson City 4th of July parade with my youth group! haha) developed lifetime friends, made definitive life choices, got asked out for the first time in 1994 (I refused), got my driver's license in 1994, moved from my childhood home in 1995, started my first home business in 1996, cut my waist-length hair to my chin in the summer of 1996 (much to the chagrin of my older, hot, British tennis teacher), learned to snowboard in the winter of 1996, went to EXCEL in January of 1997, got my first speeding ticket in 1997, went snowboarding 3 days a week in the winters of '96, '97, and '98, turned 20 and started leading my church's children's ministry in 1998, turned 21 in 1999, and of course filled several diaries with teen angst over the course of the decade. So yeah, the '90's hold a ton of my growing-up memories. And the songs that came out of that time were the "soundtrack of my life".

I'm going to list the '90's songs that I particularly love, and the memories they bring up, if any.

Wonderwall by Oasis
Reminds me of driving our big, "beautiful", banana-yellow 1978 Lincoln Continental that someone gave us. I hated that thing, but man, did it have power! (hence the reason I got my first speeding ticket)

Song 2 by Blur
happy, happy, happy song! It makes me think of flying down a run at Mt. Rose on a gorgeous day, listening to it blast over my Diskman headphones.

Santa Monica by Everclear
another happy song. I don't have any particular memory, just like it.

I Will Buy You A New Life by Everclear
I think of driving up to Mt. Rose in my parents' old Caravan, and it breaking down. My pal Jesse sang me this song to lighten the mood.

Walkin' On The Sun by Smashmouth
This brings up memories of my brother David and his best friend Jesse fighting over a line of this song that each heard differently. Silly boys.

Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls
C'mon... who doesn't like this song? It's absolutely quintessential for any child of the '90's. I've listened to it so much that it has no single memory.

No Rain by Blind Melon
Reminds me of David singing. hahaha

The Freshmen by The Verve Pipe (not to be confused with The Verve)
Love this song. It reminds me of working at Nevada Lynn's, a little roadside store, with my brothers. Also driving Jesse's little Toyota Tercel up to ride Mt. Rose.

Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground

If You Could Only See by Tonic
This was the song David sang to his first girlfriend, Brenna, who had blue eyes.

Baby, Baby by Amy Grant
Dancing with Hannah in her bedroom!

Mambo #5 by Lou Bega
What a dorky song! I think of driving too Reno with Erica, blasting the part that says "a little bit of Erica..."

The Impression That I Get by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Ugh, ska. Not my favorite. Moving on...

So What'cha Want? by the Beastie Boys
hahaha, this song makes me laugh. sometimes when my brothers and I would ask each other what we wanted, we'd sing it just like this song.

Whoomp! There It Is by Tag Team
Another lame one. I remember this song because everyone and their brother would always say "whoomp, there it is" for various reasons

Glycerine by Bush
I remember this as one of the first songs that David learned to play on his bass guitar that wasn't a "worship song" :)

All I Wanna Do by Sheryl Crow
this song makes me think of sun-drenched vacations in Santa Barbara where I spent all day at the beach then hit the thrift stores and the ice cream shop. Happiness.

Ironic by Alanis Morissette
This reminds me of Hannah and Jesse fighting over who wrote it- Han thought it was Sheryl Crow, and Jesse thought it was Alanis. It's a great song.

I Only Wanna Be With You by Hootie and the Blowfish
Laaaaaame song. It was ubiquitous, which is probably why I didn't really like it. And I couldn't relate; I didn't have a boyfriend.

Only Happy When it Rains by Garbage
Dude. I loved this song! It was dark, but gosh I liked it. :)

If It Makes You Happy by Sheryl Crow

Follow You Down by Gin Blossoms

I Love You Always Forever by Donna Lewis
Seriously cheesy, but who can forget Kristi Yamaguchi skating to this one in the... olympics? Okay, apparently a lot of people can, but I always remember that.

Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind

Tubthumping by Chumbawamba
I remember this song being on a section of a snowboard video where they showed all the wipeouts. Haha, very clever.

Banditos by The Refreshments
crazy, funny, cool song. We listened to this one a lot while snowboarding; it gives you that "spring" in your... glide?

Head Over Feet by Alanis
gosh, what an awesome song. I must have sung this one with Hannah a gagillion times. It was my introduction to Alanis, and I've been hooked ever since.

How's It Gonna Be by Third Eye Blind
This is another of my absolute favorites. It instantly takes me to the snowboard park on the Slide side of Mt. Rose on a super-snowy day. There were speakers blasting this song as I rode through, floating over the fresh powder in time to the music. Such a good memory!

Fly by Sugar Ray
another awesome bouncy snowboarding song

Where Have All The Cowboys Gone by Paula Cole
Hannah. This song makes me think of Hannah and our sleepovers where we'd read each other's diaries and lament about not knowing any cool guys. Heh.

Brimful of Asha by Cornershop
I have no idea what they're talking about, but I like the song

Angel by Sarah Mclachlan

Dream by the Cranberries

Zoot Suit Riot by Cherry Poppin' Daddies

Scar Tissue by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

All Star by Smashmouth

Someday by Sugar Ray

Every Morning by Sugar Ray

Better Days by Citizen Cane

Good Riddance by Green Day

Clumsy by Our Lady Peace
This is another one that makes me think of Hannah... she claimed this as her "theme song" because she thought she was clumsy and no one noticed her. Ha, if she only knew.

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve

Mr. Jones by Counting Crows

Long December by Counting Crows
Quite possibly my favorite song of the decade. I have so so so so many memories attached to this tune! But the original and best is the memory I have of sitting on a chairlift early one stormy morning in the winter of 1997 with David and Jesse, looking at a skier with hot pink goggles on the run below us, and David calling down to him, "Hey- it's one more day up in the canyon!" and the dude just looking up at us like we were crazy (which we were). Thereafter "one more day up in the canyon" was our codespeak for "let's go snowboarding!" Goooood times. "there will never be another '97", huh guys?

3am by Matchbox20 (before they were Matchbox Twenty)
one of the songs that can bring back memories the strongest; I think of driving up or down the mountain whenever I hear this one (and the other Matchbox20 songs, too)

Push by Matchbox20
heh, David used to sing this "at" me when he was mad at me for whatever reason

Real World by Matchbox20

Whew. I think that's about all I have steam for right now. I listened to some country music in the '90's too, but I'll have to save that for another post or come back and edit them in later. Or something.

What are some I missed? :) What are your favorites and why?

it's okay

2008-10-14T12:05:00.000-07:00

The car is fine. :)

It took the Triple-A lady only about a half an hour to get to me, and she jumped my battery, which was most definitely dead. I drove it straight to Tires Plus across the street and down the road from my apartment, and they replaced the battery. All set!

Of course I had to leave it there for them to work on and walk home in the freezing cold wind... I was just very glad that it had stopped raining (and that I had my galoshes in the car so I didn't have to walk in my heels!) The hot bath was my "carrot" as I was walking without a winter jacket. Heh. Rob got home about an hour later and we ended up having a lovely evening around bowls full of hot chili and the next installment of The Peasant Princess series by Driscoll. Ahhh. :)

stupid cars

2008-10-13T14:19:00.001-07:00

I've always wished I could fly. Or at the least, had a hovercraft that could float about 15 feet above all the other traffic. Cars are just a hassle. Especially right now.

I'm sitting in my dark, cold office waiting for the Triple A dude to show up and make mine start. I have no idea what happened to make it decide not to start, but when I went to leave a few minutes ago, nothing at all happened when I turned the key. Meh. Good thing my Babes keeps me hooked up with AAA; they said they'd be here "within the hour". Here's hopin'. Meanwhile, I'm sitting in my chair where I have been uncomfortably planted for the last EIGHT HOURS, staring out the window at the rain, wishing I was at home in a hot bath. And I even had extra time at home alone tonight since Rob is touring a library after class today. I was hoping to get in some reading. Well, I guess it serves me right for planning on laziness!

So I think I'll surf the web instead. ;)

Here's the forlorn lil' car, waiting for the doctor

i'm so domesticated

2008-10-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

Since Erica alluded to the fact that I make my own hummus, I decided a little post about hummus would be nice. Actually, I just got a craving for hummus yesterday and made some... and as I was so doing, I took pictures along the way.

Hummus is super-easy to make, and I figure I can make the amount I could buy in a store for about a tenth of the cost. This is a very good thing, since Rob and I really like the stuff. So I started out by piling the ingredients together: a can of Garbanzo beans (no, Erica... I do not grow them myself), some kosher salt, garlic, pepper, tahini (sesame seed paste), olive oil, and cumin. Not pictured is the half of a lemon who's juice goes in to the hummus. It's not pictured because I didn't have a lemon in my fridge yesterday. ;) I have a recipe (see my cheesy notes?) because I'm not one of those magic cooks who just knows how to make delicious dishes without a guide. So despite the fact that I've made this recipe about 50 times, I still have to look at it every time.
I toss all the ingredients except the tahini into my Cuisinart (love this thing!)
and whirl it around for about a minute or so, then add the tahini. I'm not exactly sure why I wait to add the tahini until later, but I do because that's what the recipe says to do. I'm sure if I put it in with everything else at the beginning it would end up inedible. I'm just sure of it.

Then ya just scoop it out into a container of choice and enjoy. I usually eat it with celery, bell pepper, and cucumber slices, or in a pita with fresh basil and feta cheese and maybe some sprouts and tomatoes. Or chips.

Chiiiiiips...!

I had an overabundance of corn tortillas yesterday (bought a package on Friday not realizing that I already had some) so I decided to make tortilla chips to go with my delicious hummus. Now, before I sound TOO much like Betty Crocker, lemme just say that Rob has made tortilla chips for us before. On several occasions, actually. We got a "fry daddy" (is that a brand?) deep fryer for our wedding, and I honestly did not know what the heck to do with such a thing. I grew up believing in my heart of hearts that fried food was going to send me to an early grave; consequently I had never deep-fried anything. Rob convinced me once to make French fries, insisting that Crisco be the medium of choice. They were sooo yucky (sorry, Babes). But Rob convinced me to try again with canola oil and they were much much better. So when he wanted to try making tortilla chips, I was more than happy to let him experiment. The result? They were the best chips I've ever had, hands-down. And since they were just corn tortillas and canola oil, they had to be better for us than the store-bought ones with loads of preservatives and artificial flavorings, right?

So since I had all these extra tortillas and a bowl full of fresh hummus on my hands yesterday, I decided to try my own hand at deep-fryering and chip-making. It's simple, really. Heat up a couple of cups of canola oil in the fryer, grab a stack of about 4 or 5 tortillas and cut them into fourths:
Then pop them into the hot oil:
Fish them out when they start to turn golden, and let them drain on a baking rack. Salt well.
Ta-da! Fresh, delicious tortilla chips. I think they might even be cheaper than a bag o' chips. :)

Here's the finished product: hummus, chips, salsa (NOT homemade, hahahah), and refried black beans (out of a can, thankyouverymuch). Best enjoyed with a BL Lime, if your conscience allows you. If not, Sprite is good too. (And I can't recommend this sermon highly enough. Gotta love Driscoll's straightforwardness)

Rob and I kicked back and snacked on this feast while watching the iTunes free movie download from last weekend, Dogtown And Z-Boys, a documentary on the beginning of skateboarding. It was a delightful Sunday afternoon.

iBlog. iBlog seven times.

2008-10-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

Wow, I just looked at this lil site and realized that I've written seven posts in October... and it's only the 10th! Heh heh. And here I thought I'd forget I even had a blog.

I was only intending to write that ^, but now that I'm here, I can't resist typing more. At least a little something.

Husby and I are hosting an (almost) impromptu football party this weekend (gasp- that's tomorrow!). I've never hosted a football party, and I think I've only actually attended one. And that was at Rob's parents' house in September of 2005, the first time I flew out to visit Rob in his hometown. Needless to say, I wasn't really paying attention to the game. I was waaaaay too nervous because of all the people I was trying to make a good impression on. (Carrolls, Williams, Chris&Megan, etc. Good times.) And I was waaaay excited to be with Rob, of course. Rabbit trail: I remember writing a text message to my friend Cassidy as I was boarding the plane for that trip, saying something to the effect of "gosh, I'm so nervous. everybody important in Rob's life is going to be there... and we're going to have a pool party. I'll have to meet some of these people for the first time my bathing suit!" After composing it, I accidentally sent it TO ROB. Yargsh. So much for being "cool and comfortable". Ah well, we always have been perfectly honest with each other.

Anyway, at my first football party I only remember being given an Oklahoma University shirt to wear (felt like such a poser, but it was sweet of them to include me) and seeing the expansive table of "game day" food. I mean, Rob's mother had made literally every kind of midwestern delicacy for that party. There were nachos with Velveta sauce, sausage/cheese/biscuit-ball thingies, jello salad, mini weiners in sauce (horrors) and other stuff I'm sure I'm forgetting. I just remember thinking that there was no way people would eat it all. I was wrong. People arrived by the boatload, stayed ALL. DAY. LONG. and definitely ate all the food. Or most of it anyway.

So I'm a little nervous about tomorrow. Obviously I have a lot to live up to. I'm planning on grocery shopping tonight and throwing some chili in the crock pot (shhh, it's gonna be "healthy" chili made with ground turkey). I'll go ahead and make the sausage biscuit ball things, but I refuse to make mini weenies. Rob has offered to make the nachos, complete with his very delicious homemade corn chips (fried in canola oil, thank you). I think I'll have some cut-up veggies, and maybe some hummus and rice chips. Hey, this is MY party... if ya don't like my style of party food, go home. haha. I seriously doubt we'll have a boatload of people, so the pressure is going to be low anyway.

Eh, I'm gonna have a blast. I'll even pull out my OU shirt and try to cheer at the right times, which will be a challenge since football looks like scrambled eggs to me.

I'll add a picture of Rob and I at that first party back in 2005 when I get home today. Just for your viewing pleasure. (And to keep up my current trend of adding a picture to every post)

Edited to add the promised pictures:

The group at the Hulson's house. Can you tell they're fans?

I was interested in the game. Really.

a girl's gotta love it when...

2008-10-09T12:01:00.001-07:00

...she gets a Travelocity "fare watcher" e-mail alerting her that tickets from Reno to Minneapolis are on sale, down from $550 to $321. And, after some schedule-wrestling, she books tickets for her mother to come see her for her birthday!! ::happy dance::

Mom arrives next Friday at 3:30pm (perfect, I get off work at 4, so I should arrive just as her bags are unloaded) and stays until Tuesday at 4:45pm. I have Tuesday off (as previously rejoiced over) so that means that I'll be able to spend Friday evening, all day Saturday, and all day Sunday with her. Monday I work from 8-4pm, but I don't go back to work until Wednesday morning, so that leaves us all day Tuesday until she has to be at the airport in the late afternoon.

I'm so happy! I don't get to hang out with my mom nearly enough, and we always have such fun together. Thrift stores, here we come!

Dad and bros, you know I'm missing you guys like crazy too. The invitation stands. Always.

sweet relief

2008-10-08T12:27:00.000-07:00

I submitted a time-off request to my boss several weeks ago, and have been on pins and needles ever since. I know she's busy, but daaaaaaang, I wish she would have paid attention to it sooner. This is pretty much the expression I've been wearing every day:

Not cute. (heh, compounded by the especially un-cute "I don't care" hair)

Anyway, I told her that I needed to know today about the long weekend that Rob and I are planning to celebrate our collective birthdays and anniversary (yep, time off is that scarce), which is in 2 weeks. I staved off the reservationist yesterday, but promised to let her know today. Hence my pressure. Gah, I hate asking for things even once; why is she making me go through this torture three times over?? Anyway, she printed out my e-mail (dated 9.18.08) and discussed the dates with me... and finally granted me the day of my (30th) birthday AND the following Friday off! Whew!!!

Now for plans. I think we're going to get up super-early on Tuesday (my b-day) and drive up to Duluth. We haven't been there yet in the three Autumns that we've lived in Minneapolis, and I really want to check it out. Although sleeping in does sound incredibly attractive... but I think I need to get out of the house and have a major change of scenery to keep me from thinking about the fact that I really just want to party with my family for my birthday. So Duluth may be the perfect answer. Then I'll work Wednesday and Thursday. (easy peasy!) And, after I call and confirm today, we have reservations for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights at a quiet, secluded little cabin right on a lake somewhere north of the Cities. *deep sigh* That sounds like heaven to me. No technology, no phones, no schedules, no clocks, no pavement, even. While in the past I definitely would have chosen a more fast-paced and exciting party in a city locale, complete with fancy food/drinks, friends, and dressing up, I think this may suit me just fine this year. I may regret it later when I realize this is how I'm sending off my twenties, I don't know. Maybe this is an indication of getting old? I just know that right now, I feel like resting. A lot.

Now, just to get the time off for the holidays/visit to Portland and I'll sleep one thousand times better at night. *fingers crossed*

lake taco

2008-10-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl, my grandma had a framed, full-color map of Lake Tahoe hanging in her back bedroom. I distinctly remember her holding me and pointing to various places ("and here's Incline Village, where you were born...") while I looked at the blue of the oblong lake, repeating "Taco" after her carefully pronounced "TaHoe" (what can I say, I liked mexican food early).

So, ever since I was a wee thing I have had a fascination with this gorgeous little jewel of a lake. Understandably so. My parents lived on Robin Drive in Incline Village when I was born, I learned to walk at Burnt Cedar Beach and the golf course (where my grandpa marshalled) in Incline, I must have spent 3 days a week at Sand Harbor and Round Hill Pines Beach each summer since I was a child. In the winter, my brothers and I could be found ditching school at either Mount Rose or Sierra-At-Tahoe ski resorts. (Okay, we didn't really ditch. We were homeschooled, so we doubled up and did school on the weekends so we could snowboard 3 or 4 days during the week) I had my 21st birthday in King's Beach, had my wedding reception at Aspen Grove (also the place where my dad preached his first sermon and I was dedicated as a baby) and Ski Beach in Incline, and spent the first two days of my honeymoon at Red Wolf Lodge. So yeah... this lake is in my blood. I just don't think I'll ever get tired of it. I sure hope it's going to be in heaven, cuz I just may not want to go there if it's not. Kidding, kidding. ;)

Here are a few factoids I ran across... they are actually what inspired this post.

Tahoe is the third deepest lake in North America and the tenth deepest in the world. Tahoe's deepest point is 1,645 feet near Crystal Bay. The floor of the Lake Tahoe Basin is at an elevation of about 4,580 ft, which is lower than the surface of the Carson Valley to the east.

Lake Tahoe is the North American Continent's largest Alpine lake and is 6223' above sea level, 22 miles long, 12 miles wide, covers a surface area of 191.6 square miles, and has 72 miles of shoreline.

The estimated 39.75 trillion gallons of water contained in the lake is 99.9 percent pure, with visibility to 75 feet below the surface (a 10 inch white dinner plate would be visible at 75 feet below the surface). Tahoe could provide every person in the United States with 50 gallons of water per day for 5 years.

The water temperature near the surface generally cools to 40 to 50 degrees Fahrenheit during February and March and warms to 65 to 70F during August and September. Below a depth of 600 to 700 ft (183 to 213 m), the water temperature remains a constant 39F. Many drowning victims are never recovered from Lake Tahoe. The cold water at lower depths preserves the bodies and prevents the formation of gases that would otherwise float them to the surface.

If Lake Tahoe was completely drained, it would cover a flat area the size of California to a depth of 14 inches, or Texas with 8.5 inches of water, but would take over 700 years to refill.

Lake Tahoe loses much of its water to evaporation.An average 1,400,000 tons of water evaporates from its surface every 24 hours, yet this drops the lake level only one-tenth of an inch. If the water that evaporates from the lake every 24 hours could be recovered, it would supply the daily requirements of a city the size of Los Angeles.

There are 63 tributaries (including and two hot springs) draining into Lake Tahoe, but only one outlet at the Truckee River.

At lake level, annual snowfall averages 125 inches. At alpine skiing elevations, the snowfall averages 300 to 500 inches each year. Skiers can hit the slopes on one of the 182 ski trails in the midst of more than 8,800 total ski resort acres. The longest ski run in the area is 5.5 miles long. Lake Tahoe's greatest vertical drop is 3,600 feet.

There are six 24-hour casinos in the South Lake Tahoe area, including the infamous Cal-Neva, once owned by Frank Sinatra and so named because it straddles the CA and NV state lines. All together, the casinos in Tahoe have a total of 7,051 slot machines and 411 game tables.

Yay for Tahoe!

(both taken on my Kodak digital cam)

garsh

2008-10-07T08:59:00.000-07:00

For the love of pete, I can't get the photostream feature on here to work right. For the longest time it just displayed random pictures from flickr... now I finally got it linked to my account, but it's being awfully picky and only showing a select few photos. Seriously? I didn't know that it was allowed to have an opinion.

In other news, it's pouring rain here today. I loves it. This just may warrant a lunch-hour trip to the ol' 'Bucks for a grande, skim, no-water, extra-hot, extra-foam, extra-chai, Chai Tea Latte with caramel drizzle on top. ::SMILE::

(hey, who invited all the hyphens to this post??)

erica

2008-10-06T13:56:00.001-07:00

I just discovered and got done reading through the complete archives of my good friend Erica's blog, "Life is Full". I had a lot of fun reading it, it was kinda like wandering around her life for the past year in about 45 minutes. It made me super-homesick for Reno, and for friends who know you without having to tell your complete background and history every time you get together. :) And I must admit, it did make me a little jealous of her life as a mommy, even though her feisty 2-year old throws fits (love ya, Morgan!).

For those of you who don't know Erica, she and I met when I was about 11? 12? and were buddies growing up. We became close friends after her family moved back to the States in the late 90's and we girls started hanging out together as often as we could. Together with her sister Danielle, and the Whittaker girls Hannah & Elizabeth, we became known as "the fab five". We did tons of everything together, like dressing up and spending many single Valentine's Days reveling in our singleness, hanging out and watching movies, sleeping over, shopping, hiking, swimming at 5:30 am, and of course lots and lots of talking about everything that young single girls go through.

Erica and I also led our church's children's ministry together for about 4 or 5 years, what sweet times of growing in the Lord together, learning how to lead, how to sing, and how to really walk out our faith. For the record, Erica is one of only two friends I've ever had a real fight with- complete with tears and yelling. :) Gotta love that, huh, Big E? Good times. No, really, good times. She was the first of the Fab Five to fall in love and get married... that was a wake-up call to the rest of us that life was indeed moving on and we'd better hang on for the ride, 'cuz it wasn't stopping! The morning before Erica's wedding the rest of us pounded on her apartment door at dark-thirty, waking her up and dressing her in crazy clothes and makeup to go out to coffee at our favorite little place. The looks we got were well worth her embarrassment. I'm sure she'd agree. Right, Mrs. Jones?? HA!

I love how real and honest Erica is about the struggles she's going through and how buoyant her faith and joy in life is. Whether she's struggling or floating, she's one of the most realistically optimistic people I know. I miss our bonding times being "wild single women" and "going to Reno to spend some money" while commiserating about our love lives (or lack thereof) and our "delinquent" brothers. But I think we'd both have to say life is ever so much richer being "wild wives"! ;) Love you loads, Erica!

humanness

2008-10-02T12:12:00.001-07:00

Wouldn't ya believe that after writing all that, all I can think about and feel bad about today is how I'm not going to get to see my family on my birthday? Helloooooooo

a cause beyond yourself

2008-10-02T06:15:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking about life. (how's that for a big, nebulous topic?) It's all of a sudden become painfully obvious to me that my outlook and general mentality toward life has gradually slipped into self-centeredness over the last year or so. It happened very stealthily so that it was barely perceptible, but now it seems so obvious. Like when you see a child for the first time in over a year and you comment to his momma, "wow, he's grown SO MUCH!" the growth is obvious to the visitor who hasn't seen the kid in a while, but to the mom, not so much. I've been the mom, but all of a sudden I feel like the visitor. I'm sorting through my feelings on this realization... and these are going to be raw, random thoughts; hopefully they'll end up somewhat cohesive.

This train of thought started when Rob and I went to the Art*Music*Justice tour for his birthday two days ago. I bought the tickets as a surprise birthday present, thinking "hey, a bunch of artists we like are going to be playing together, how fun!" but I had no idea what the concert was about. It was basically five musicians being a voice for the voiceless. They used their talents (and *woah*, what talent!) to showcase injustices that have touched their hearts. There were basically three causes they were championing: slavery, genocide, and human trafficking & prostitution of young girls. Each of these artists had been to foreign countries with an orginization called International Justice Mission and had purposefully exposed themselves to harsh evils that are being done against helpless people.

Injustices. It's not an easy thing to hear or see, it's upsetting and can shake us to the core to see cruelty being done to a fellow human... and it should. My natural tendency is to avoid stories like that. I don't want to hear about strong, cruel men owning and abusing weaker men, imprisoning them with not only whips and shackles but also by demoralizing them and crushing their very humanness. I don't want to read personal eyewitness accounts of women and children clubbed to death by militant men from neighboring countries. It's not entertaining to watch a video of a 15-year-old Chinese girl (who lived with every Western comfort I do) telling how she was lured with the promise of a "summer job" into the waiting hands of a kidnapper who took her thousands of miles into another country and sold her to a brothel owner who made her "work" 15-20 hours a day. I naturally want to shield myself from the knowledge (and emotion) that those things are happening in this day and age... and I definitely don't want to personalize it further by knowing that they are happening to real people with real feelings and real faith in the same God I worship. I'd rather choose to insulate myself with all the things that concern ME... like the day-to-day stresses of my job, my never-quite-enough bank account, getting to visit my family at Christmas, my new wardrobe wants, what I'm going to make for dinner, etc. etc. etc. I don't think these things in and of themselves are bad or wrong, but when they are ALL I ever concern myself with, that's when the selfishness creeps in. And I've let it completely consume me, almost without realizing it. It's easy because those are the things in my world. That is what I do all the time to survive. I mean, I can't NOT work and I really do have to make dinner... so I can't get away from these things, nor should I (I mean, never making dinner isn't so great on a marriage, let alone a body, y'know?) I just don't want the day-to-day things that only concern me to become *all* I'm about.

I don't want to hop on a bandwagon or crusade saying "how dare you think about fashion when there are starving kids out there!" because I think that's extreme and not sustainable for very long. What I want is to have an over-arching cause that is bigger than my own comfortable, clean little world, and the people that enter into my bubble. It is important to "look well unto the ways of my household" but it's not all. Managing my daily life well is good and worthy, but not to the exclusion of rescuing those who are sliding into hell. Even though I don't like hearing the hard stories, I think it's a very good thing to expose myself to them and allow the Lord to touch me and break my heart with the things that break His. He is close to the brokenhearted and near to the opressed... and I don't want to close my ears and eyes to them! I want my world to be more than all about me. I don't want to forget the things I saw in Africa, like Granny Bandy and her 12 grandchildren that she supported in a house with no trace of food in it because their parents had all died of AIDS. As much as it's uncomfortable for me to think about these things, I know it's good. I want to wake up to what God is doing in the world, both on a large scale and a small, personal scale, and not fool myself into thinking that my little reality IS reality. Kinda like the proverbial ostrich in the sand. One thing I can do to jolt me out of my ignorance and insulation is to get those difficult stories in front of me on a regular basis. Exposing myself to the pain of others is a sure way to forget my trivial frustrations and get me in touch with a bigger view of people, God, and what He's doing to set people free... and how I can be a part of that. Another thing I know I can do is to just start giving. Money. It may be money that I "don't have" (right, like I don't buy Starbucks whenever I feel like it), but I know that God will provide for what He's putting on my heart to do, because He says it in 2 Corinthians 9:10-11: "He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God." That's a promise I want to bank on.

The last two days I've been asking the Lord to touch my heart, and rescue me from an accicentally self-centered view of life. It's just so easy to get completely wrapped up in me: my problems, my issues, and my concerns. There's more to my life than me! Three things happened recently that have been moving me along in this process. Yesterday I called my mom and was just kinda catching up, and I started telling her about the Art*Music*Justice concert. I told her about IJM's work in freeing the girls from the brothels, and the aftercare programs they are in... I had just intended on relaying the information to her, but as I talked about what the Lord had done for one girl there in particular; hearing her daily prayers amongst mocking roommates, listening to her cries, assembling a group of police on a mission to bust the brothel, and her subsequent rescue, I found my heart breaking. At one point, I couldn't even finish my sentence on the phone to my mom... which was okay because she was crying with me on the other end of the phone. I don't know pain. I think that because I don't have enough money to fly home for Christmas, I'm "suffering". And because I think that way, I don't know the mightiness of God. He *moves mountains* on behalf of the broken! And I want to have a shovel. Whether my "shovel" is prayer, or giving money, or going to the hurting people, I don't know yet... but I want to be open. I want to be consumed with something bigger than myself. I want to "be about my Father's businness". Mainly, I want to be a means of grace. I know I don't have to *be* a young girl enslaved in a brothel to experience the freeing power of God... but hearing stories like that where He displays His defending power like that gives me all kinds of faith that He will hear my cries when I'm hurting, and that He answers and delivers and saves, both that girl from her physical slavery AND me from my mental/emotional slavery to my own selfishness. I recently discovered the song, "Mighty To Save" (I know... where have I been?) and the chorus has been resonating in my spirit for the past 4 or 5 days:

"Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave."

I want to re-connect with THAT God. I think I am.

The second thing that stirred me yesterday was a conversation I had with a friend who is going through trials in her marriage. Even though I'm not in the same position as she is, I think the Lord used me to speak words to her that brought hope and life. That humbled me... and made me realize that I don't need to sell all my junk and move to a hut in the heart of Africa to wake up to the reality of suffering. (hmm, that concept can actually hold me back from obeying what the Lord is speaking to me) It's right here. Maybe not human trafficking or tribal kids drinking pond water, but Satan does oppress American Christians, and God still rescues them. Again, I want a shovel!

And then the third thing that moved me was listening to Sara Groves' song "When The Saints" this morning on the way to work. I'd heard it before, but I had never really listened to the words carefullly.

"Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It's more than I can handle
But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and I can’t let it go

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

Lord it's all that I can't carry and cannot leave behind
it all can overwhelm me
but I think of all who've gone before them and lived the faithful life
their courage compels me

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars

I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharaohs court
I hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad
I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul

I see the young missionary at the angry spear
I see his family returning with no trace of fear

I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights
I see the sisters standing by the dying mans side

I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
I see the man with a passion come and kicking down that door

I see the man of sorrow and his long troubled road
I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them"

As she was singing about the struggles of the people who have done great things for God, I was picturing each scenario in my mind.. Paul and Silas in prison, beaten and singing, yet still waiting in faith for their God to rescue them; Moses courageously standing before the world power pleading the cause of God's people; people working to free American slaves and give them worth and life; missionaries dying and paving the way for the Gospel; Mother Teresa ministering comfort to the broken; etc, etc. I was especially impacted by the concept that each of these situations was a showcase for the *faithfulness* of the Lord, and how He calls us and empowers us with faith to do bold things like that for Him. As I was thinking about that, tears were threatening to jump out of my eyes and ruin my makeup, and I started to stop them... but then I realized how opposite that was to what I wanted. I want to be tenderized, I want to *feel* the right emotion when the Lord touches me and shows me a facet of Himself. I want to be humble enough to cry. So I did. (Nearly ran off the road, but hey, I figured if He was doing this, He'd protect me.) What was most impacting was the thought that He has rescued helpless people in impossible situations before, He is doing it now in circumstances I don't even know of... so what makes me think He can't or doesn't want to do the same for ME? He knows the areas of my heart and life that are still imprisoned by sin, and He will set me free. Free to love Him with no concern for how I look to others, free from worry and fear, free to do what He has called me to do. I want to join the line of those who have not wasted their lives, but have taken their "talents" and multiplied them 1000x to turn them back to Him.

No more navel-gazing! Now, where to start??

happy birthday

2008-09-30T06:30:00.000-07:00

to the kindest of men, the tenderest of husbands, and the most fun friend! Your joy and zest for life inspire me and keep me going, your searching for Jesus compels me to do the same, your honesty challenges me, and your leadership pulls me up to new heights in life. I love you with all my heart and am committed to you for the rest of our lives, Babes. I'm yours... shoulder to shoulder facing Him, back to back fighting our adversaries, and face to face loving each other. You're awesome!

celebratory day

2008-09-22T06:40:00.000-07:00

We had such a fabulous day celebrating our anniversary! Well, it wasn't one whole day, but rather two half days... so I figure they make one whole day added together.

On Tuesday we both had off at noon (yay!) so we packed a snackie lunch and headed out. Our first stop was Marshall's to get Rob some new sunglasses, since he left his at home and it was a super-bright sunny day. They were in the process of biting the dust anyway, so we figured now was as good a time as any to get new. Besides, any excuse to shop is valid in my book! We managed to find not one but two really great pair; one sporty New Balance ones, and one hip pair of gold aviators by Marc Jacobs. Sadly, I have no pictures of them. Yet. :)

We then took our hungry selves to White Bear Lake, a big, beautiful, lake (no, really?) to eat our lunch, consisting of hummus, various veggies, pistachios, goat cheese, three varieties of cracker-type things, chocolate-covered pretzels, Jelly Bellys, and Woodchuck cider... yum!

Since there was pretty much no one but us there, and the sun had a lazy-ing effect on us, we stayed about two and a half hours just talking, making up stories, snoozing, and just enjoying each others' company. It's hard to get bored of each other. Really.
At around 3 o'clock we decided to pick up and move on to our next destination: Aamodt's Apple Orchard just outside of Stillwater. Upon our arrival (which was not easy, lemme tell ya... the road construction was a mess!) we were delighted to see that Aamodt's shared property with Saint Croix Vineyards, a small Minnesota winery. We wandered about in the orchard, picking apples and stealing a kiss or two under the shady trees for about an hour. It was load of good ol' country fun. Or at least it was what I imagine country fun to be like... I'm good for about an hour of it.

Here's the orchard:

I wanted to eeeeeaaaat them!

Ohmigosh! Sour!

Oh, you're taking a picture??

We'll take a whole bagful!

I think they're going to make great pie-making apples. Small, crisp, and tart. Once we had filled our bag, we went back through the orchard's store which was a great big huge old restored barn. They had all manner of apple-y things for sale; from pies and cider to jam and popcorn... and of course caramel-covered apples. We managed to restrain ourselves and walked out with only a small apple crisp and a package of apple bratwursts. Oh, and our small bag of hand-picked apples.

Leaving our apple treasures in the car, we decided to pay a visit to the winery next door.
Sadly, I only have a picture of the outside; we were too busy to take any pictures inside, plus the lighting was dim and dusty. The two of us were the only ones in the whole place, so we got the undivided attention of the girl in charge. She told us all about the history of the winery (it a U of M endeavor) and how they make the different kinds of wine... with special French oak to make the barrels, blah blah blah. We tasted a tiny sip of about about 6 different types, (with dark chocolate in between!) and settled on a *very small*, very expensive bottle of raspberry dessert wine. The thought of pouring it over cheesecake sealed the deal for us. :)

We went home and had a cozy evening in. We had planned to watch our wedding video, but we... didn't exactly get to it. It was late, y'know. :)

Then, to round out our celebration, on Saturday I had planned a surprise for Rob; I got tickets to a string quartet concert in downtown St. Paul. So after a day of studying and relaxing by Snail Lake (we're luuu-vin' hanging by lakes these days!), we got all dressed up and went out to dinner, then to hear the Enso string quartet. It was lovely. I felt so very cultured. I almost fell asleep. hahaha. Evidently this particular quartet is quite famous (popular?) amongst the circles that know about string quartets, which are mainly Ivy league musicians and such. At any rate, they were very good, quite young, and wore deliciously coordinating outfits. We enjoyed ourselves and decided to take advantage of other opportunities to go to sophisticated concerts in the future. By the way, St. Paul is a very charming town; I much prefer it to Minneapolis... I think because it's older and feels more artsy. Before the concert, we wandered around the Seventh Street Mall (outdoors, with twinkly lights, cutsy shops, and street musicians) and the old Ham Building (no meat involved) which has gorgeous marble floors and beautiful dark woodwork. I felt like Anne in Anne of Green Gables when she goes to visit Diana's aunt and lives the city life for a day or two.

The only picture I have of the whole evening is one of the quartet, stealthily taken by Rob with his iPhone. Unfortunately that means we have none of our dashing outfits, which is a shame 'cause I had on a new black dress that I felt rather elegant in. Ah well, another time!
In all, I can't believe that I've been living in Minnesota (a state I forgot existed before I moved here) with this crazy, handsome, fun, God-centered man! It's been an adventure and I'm looking forward to what's next. We're happy... so happy.

(yes, we did indeed wear our "Bride" and "Groom" t-shirts from our wedding rehearsal. Why not, right?)

two whole years with you, Babe

2008-09-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

It seems like no time at all and forever, all at once! It's been a never-ending journey of knowing and growing... and I've never been so deeply happy. No one knows me and still loves me like you do, Babes. Thank you for loving me, no matter what. Here's to living our life to the fullest... and trying to beat my grandparents' family record of 62 years! I'm more than up for another 60 with you, Rob Hulson!

(for more pictures... visit our other site)

this day... two years ago

2008-09-15T08:17:00.000-07:00

September 15.

That date bring all sorts of happy memories flooding my mind. Two years ago, it was the day before my wedding day. It was a day full of preparations, last-minute arrangements, and just a little stress. It was a whirlwind of activity... and anticipation. Lots of heart-stopping, tummy-tickling, happy-sighing anticipation. I'll never forget how I felt that day, knowing that there were only a few hours left between my life as it had always been, and how it was going to be from then on. The next day, my wedding day- September 16, was the second-most pivotal moment of my life, second only to the day my eyes were opened to see the Lord as beautiful. But September 15 was full of *promise*... and the anticipation of the sweet fulfillment of the promise long hoped for.
I remember only a few actual details, like how windy it was and how I prayed for beautiful weather for the next day (it was gorgeous), I remember having a very special time of worship/singing at the piano in my parents house with Rob, my sister, and my friend and bridesmaid, April Talley Williamson. I remember flitting about at the church, overseeing the last-minute decorating and flower arranging. I remember Rob still writing and recording the wedding music (!) haha, that's where the "little bit of stress" came in.
I remember being not much good or help at the church, so I decided to go home and finish up some last-minute cards to family and get some rest (ha). I dropped off Jenni Carroll, the wife of Jon Carroll, one of Rob's groomsmen at her hotel on my way home and we both chatted and laughed about how silly it was to be driving all that way together on THIS day, hardly even knowing each other. Good times. Late that night, I sat up and talked to my mom (on the floor in the hallway outside her room, of all places!) about how excited we both were... we both cried and laughed until it was way too late. Daaaang, I love and miss that lady!
Earlier, I remember hugging so many of my good friends and wishing that we had time to all sit and talk for hours.
I remember dressing for the rehearsal dinner very calmly and taking a bunch of casual pictures with my brothers and parents. I treasure those shots, that was actually the last time we were all together since then!

The rehearsal dinner was beautiful... in a golfcourse clubhouse, overlooking the course with the mountains in the background, it couldn't have been better. I only vaguely remember the actual dinner, one of the things that stands out in my mind is the sweet poem that my good friend Elizabeth wrote for me and read during dinner. I remember not wanting my makeup to run, then not caring.
The rehearsal itself is a complete blur, the only thing I remember clearly is the "oh my gosh" feeling of walking down the aisle with my Dad in the first practice run-through. It all seemed so REAL all of a sudden! There I was, with all my special friends (all together in *my* town!) and my whole family, about to make the most important step in my adult life... with the most amazing man I'd ever met, who was so much like the most amazing of fathers.
Okay, I also remember goofing off with Rob and having a blast with my dearest girlfriends. (Apparently I'm fun to pick up? And apparently I get along well with blonde girls. Maybe takes a special brunette to be my friend... or something?)

After the rehearsal, Rob and I drove back together, and stopped at "our spot" (actually a parking spot in front of a dumpster by a Starbucks, haha) and exchanged our wedding gifts to each other. I gave him a snazzy watch that I put a lot of thought into, and a few other little gifts. I was pleased with my selection... until I opened his gift to me. He had made a hard-bound book full of pictures from the two years we had been together, prefaced by a heartfelt note on the front page. How did I manage to get such a sweet, thoughtful, and creative guy??!
As soon as I opened it, the tears started flowing freely for the first time that day. The thought of that he was going to be MINE, and I was going to be HIS, fully and finally, the very next day was overwhelming. Since January in 2005, when he first told me that he was interested in me, Rob has been the tangible expression of God's grace to me. He has loved me unconditionally, he has listened to and forgiven my deepest sins, and he has led me to pursue a deeper and more "alive" relationship with his treasure, our Lord. Not to mention, he fills my days with happiness and never passes up a chance to make me laugh, usually at him! I honestly can't imagine my life without him; he was made for me, and I for him. We complete each other in ways I didn't even know I needed a completer! Every day I marvel at God's goodness in giving me Rob... and I only ask for more.

We took a few "last engaged kiss" pictures right before he dropped me off at my parents' house for the very last time that night.
If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't change anything! Like Derek Webb sings, "I Wanna Marry You All Over Again", Baby!

I wanna marry you all over again
I wanna meet you and I wanna be friends
I wanna chase you all the way to Tennessee
I’ll meet your parents at the airport bar
I’ll take you out in my rental car
I wanna court you on the record label’s dime

[Chorus]
come on baby let’s go back to the start
take it back sugar then gimme your heart
don’t you know baby I would do it all over again

I wanna buy you an old upright
I wanna accidentally stay all night
I wanna read the Bible and I wanna make out
I wanna marry you all over again
I wanna fall in love and say we’re just friends
I wanna race you all the way to Kansas City

[Chorus]
come on baby let’s go back to the start
take it back sugar then gimme your heart
don’t you know baby I would do it all over again

I wanna give you a diamond ring
and then we’ll run into my ex-girlfriend
oh, I wanna sing songs while the sun’s going down

[Chorus]
come on baby let’s go back to the start
take it back sugar then gimme your heart
don’t you know baby I would do it all over again

just for fun

2008-08-25T22:36:00.000-07:00

This new twist on the ol' quiz is going around on various bloggies, so I decided to give it a try. Fun and cool!

The idea is that you type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search. Then, using only the first page, pick an image. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into FDs Mosaic Maker. (Choose 3 columns with 4 rows.)

The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your favorite animal.

Here's me:

(if you click it, it gets BIGGER!)

and my answers are:

1. Rosanna (I'm guessing this is a picture of a girl with whom I share a name)
2. tacos
3. home school
4. red
5. Harrison Ford, back in his Indy days (yeah that's right, I like to kick it old style)
6. MonaVie
7. London
8. tiramisu
9. domestic goddess
10. the Word, my husband
11. loyal
12. golden retrievers

meanwhile, as I wait for timelessness...

2008-08-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

...I want these cupcakes. But since quite obviously don't have the time to actually make them, I may see if Cupcake (a funky little shop here in MN that sells, you guessed it, cupcakes) carries something like them.

ETA: I found the link to Cupcake here in Minneapolis. :)

crazy days and longings for timelessness

2008-08-20T07:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Rob's grandmother died (not "passed", DIED. I dislike softening the harsh reality of death) so we are making plans to go to the funeral in OKC this Saturday. I think we're going to leave straight from work tomorrow (Thursday) and drive to Rob's sister Jennifer's house about 4 hours away in Iowa to stay the night. We'll carpool with them early Friday morning for the 11-hour drive to OKC, getting there in time for bed on Friday. The funeral service is 10:30 Saturday morning, after which we'll spend time with the fam until evening. We'll pull out of OKC Saturday evening and drive half-way back to Minneapolis, finishing the drive on Sunday morning.

The reason for such haste is that this coming week is the kick-off week for TBI... starting with a picnic on Sunday afternoon at a retreat center, where I will leave Rob for Sunday & Monday nights for his "male bonding time" retreat with all the TBI guys, from which He'll come back on Tuesday evening in time for bed. Wednesday is new student Orientation Day, and Thursday is the first day of classes!

Somewhere in between all this we hope to fit in some breathing, and maybe even some eating, if we're really lucky! ;)

On another note, Rob read me a letter he wrote his grandma right before she died, and it was amazing (perhaps I can convince him to post it on his blog). It made me long for heaven all over again. It's funny, before anyone close to me died, I rarely thought much about heaven... but when my mom's father died in 2004, it awakened a whole level of thoughts and feelings inside me. Every verse I read about heaven, every song I sing that has a line about being with the Lord, and every prayer or sermon that has heaven in its theme is so much more REAL to me now that I know people who are there. And every time another person I love goes there, it makes me want to go all that much more. I mean, really... no more pain or sadness; all mysteries revealed; no more dim sight, instead seeing Him face-to-face?? Yes, please! Not to mention the streets of gold, timelessness (uh, YEAH!), the endless delights that will always thrill us, and being with those who have gone before. As the Gettys so eloquently put it:

"As saints of old still line the way,
Retelling triumphs of His grace,
We hear their calls and hunger for the day
When, with Christ, we stand in glory."

Two of the things I am looking forward to the most are having long, deep, sweet, and even funny, one-on-one talks with Jesus (I imagine sitting side by side in the grass on a warm sunny afternoon, maybe next to a stream, eating grapes and cheese&crackers together), and corporate worship "services" where I'll be part of millions and millions of people singing the most gorgeous songs of all genres, lifting up the Name of the Lord as He sits on His throne. I can't quite comprehend that, but I can compare it to times I've had here on earth and then imagine it magnified by 1000... and that thought makes me tear up immediately. One of the things I like about that thought is the fact that all of us believers will be 100% unified. Right now, I can name about 10 people off the top of my head that I'm looking forward to restored relationships with! All the little divisions that shear apart relationships will be totally gone; we'll all think the same way, because we'll all KNOW HIM as He really IS. Ahhh... THAT is my over-arching longing that fuels my desire to get to heaven! Now just to live this little life that He's given me and get that outta the way so I can go there already!

There's a verse in a song by Derek Webb about the Wedding Feast of the Lamb that touches a place deep inside me every time I sing it. It's a beautiful word picture of how we will enjoy the fullness of redemption in heaven. It's an invitation to finally exchange, for the last time, our "sordid history" for His Body and Blood, and partake of the freedom that they have bought for us:

Because I am My beloved's
And My beloved's Mine;
So, you bring all your history,
I'll bring the bread and wine.
Then we'll have us a party
Where all the drinks are on Me
And as surely as the rising sun
Oh, you will be set free,
Oh, you will be set free!

Yeah!! Who's comin' with me?

I'm also so proud...

2008-08-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

... and so humbled to be part of a company that is not only the fastest-growing privately held company in American history (with stats beat only by Fed-Ex!), but also does this and has leaders who found things like this. Thank GOD for MonaVie! Seriously, I don't know where I'd be without this company, and this product.

Again, thank God... for my brothers' persistence in telling Rob and I that we *needed* to look into the opportunity more seriously... for the effectiveness of Creator-designed nutrients having a life-changing effect in my Mom's body... for the people on our team who believe in us and themselves... for the vision, hope, and dreams that God is revealing more of to us every day... and for the tool of MonaVie to make those a reality.

I'm honored to be in this business. Onward and upward!

I am so proud...

2008-08-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

...of my husband! He passed the grueling Greek entrance exam for The Bethlehem Institute and will be starting this new chapter of his-OUR-lives next weekend. This has been a desire that Rob has had since about 2001, and I am honored to be a part of this with him... what adventures await us! Congrats, Babe!

if I could sing...

2008-08-14T06:16:00.000-07:00

I'd belt this one out on a smoky 1930's-esque nightclub stage to the Love Of My Life... he makes me feel like a queen every day I'm with him.

This one's for you, Babe:

The very thought of you
I forget to do
Those little ordinary things
That everyone ought to do
I'm livin' in a kind of a daydream
I'm happy as a queen
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything

The mere idea of you
The longing here for you
You'll never know
How slow the moments go
Till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you,
The very thought of you, my love

iWant

2008-08-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

I'm obsessing over scooters, so I did what anyone wanting to deal with an obsession should do... looked on Criagslist. Oh yeah, that helped! Heh. This little vintage piece of Vespa adorableness is the one that I'd buy if I needed a scooter, which I don't... really. I guess.

Edit: Or maybe this hot little red one! Oh gosh... Must. Stop. Drooling. Now.

news flash!

2008-08-08T09:29:00.000-07:00

I just found out from my boss (the only other female in the office) that there is a fabulous place for swing dancing in St. Paul. It's the Wabasha Street Caves.

Caves? As in, side-of-the-hill, walls-of-rock caves? Yep! Evidentially it was an old mobster hang-out back in the day; they transformed these big caverns into an underground (literally) party pad where they wined and dined their lovely ladies. Now that Al Capone et. al are dead, the caves been opened to the public as a restaurant/dance hall/historic site. You can even take a "gangster tour" and hear all about the atrocities that were schemed there.

I've also heard that the Belgian waffles are outta sight.

Thursday nights are reserved for a swing lesson at 6, followed by dancing into the night. I'm definitely planning on going there with mah hitman some Thursday very soon.

longish weekend

2008-08-08T08:35:00.000-07:00

After a shortened word day today I'm headed to Kalahari Resort for a work-funded mini vacation.

I think it should be fun. Actually, at first I wasn't planning on going for several reasons; mainly because Rob couldn't get the time off and I don't like doing fun stuff without him because that makes even the most exciting things boring. Also, I mainly work with truckers and foreign warehouse workmen. Not exactly the kind of people you really want to be in a bathing suit around, ya know? Especially since I know what their preferred lunchtime "reading material" is. But upon further information, I found out that several of the guys are bringing their families, and we aren't really required to hang with them anyway.

So I started doing some mental gymnastics: a weekend away lounging beside a pool and such, or spending my Saturday doing the usual cleaning, grocery shopping, and cooking? Um, you do the math. There was still one little hitch though. Rob. He still had to work, so there was no way he could come... and, being the hip, trendy, eco-conscious, childless, young couple that we are, we share one car. Or is that because we don't want to fork over our hard-earned cash for another tank of gas every week for a car we really do. not. need? Oh yeah, that's it. But the other description sounds more... of the moment? haha

Anyway, after talking to Rob about it, we had the brilliant idea that I go with a friend. Oh yeeeeeah... kinda like what would have been my first thought before I got married? Exactly. So I invited a friend with a car and decided to go for it. Girl's weekend! I'm actually pretty excited, despite the gray haze that is the fact that Rob's not coming. I'm sure there will be plenty of girl-talk, nail polish, laughing, and whatever else it is that we girlies like to do when we get together. I'll write a review when I get back on Monday!

some things don't change... much

2008-08-07T06:26:00.000-07:00

I posted a comment on Johanna's xanga this morning, which then led me to go look at my own old old xanga that I nearly forgot I had. I read through all the posts (like what, 5?) and came across one that literally made me shake with laughter in my pneumatic office chair. I laughed because... well honestly, I don't think my skills have improved all that much in the last 3 years! At least I don't like to cook any more now than I did then. I just *have to* more often. I'm hoping that the old adage, "practice makes perfect" will start to come true in this area sometime soon.

For your reading pleasure, I'm copying the post here:

Cooking Sucks

So I tried to be all "Sally Homemaker" today and make a nice lunch for my parents and brother David as he was working on painting the house.

I got all inspired to be creative by taking canned chili and customizing it by adding tomato paste, chopped onions, grated carrots, and extra chili powder. Looked good, smelled good. To go with it, I made iced tea customized with lemonade and fresh squeezed lemon.

Evidently I made it all too soon; David was not quite at a stopping point. So I set the table all cute and then ran downstairs to my room to check e-mail and stuff. The computer is a vortex. 15 minutes... maybe even a half an hour... later I smelled chili. Burnt chili. I had apparently left the burner "on", resulting in nearly all the beans sticking to the bottom of the pan and that burnt taste to infuse the whole pot. So I try to salvage what I can, and serve it anyway.

20 minutes later I am STILL waiting for David to come in and EAT, gosh darn it. Finally I just start working on something else... then I find myself listening to David saying that he's leaving and will just do a drive-through. Fine... Dad and Mom can still eat the burnt chili. It was then that I noticed the broken tea bag and tea leaves floating beautifully around in the iced tea like a brown snow globe.

Sigh. How does one sign up for Meals On Wheels?

(And we aren't even going to mention my repeated failed attempts at making rice...)

Okay, there is one thing that I've improved on... I can make killer rice now. Anyone want to come over for dinner? We're having rice.

work. or not.

2008-08-05T12:50:00.000-07:00

I searched the web high and low and couldn't find a template that was *just right*, so I resorted to changing the colors on the plainest Blogger template. After fiddling and fiddling and fiddling with my header image, I think I finally came up with something that I like, for now at least. And it only took 2 days, countless font searches and a 30-day Photoshop trial later. (I think I'm more of a perfectionist than I'd like to admit!) Nevermind that I was supposed to be working today! Erm, yeah. Too bad my work responsibilities don't include manipulating text and images, color and layout. I'd hardly call it work; time would fly by.

Anyway. Here's the first incarnation of my blog! (I don't doubt that it will go through multiple mood/personality/style changes; it's owned by a woman, after all) Yes, the title is shamelessly ripped off of the Third Eye Blind song, Semi-Charmed Life. I've always liked the song from my teenager-hood, and it seemed to fit, y'know? I don't endorse the lyrics particularly, but after watching the video I do want a scooter- in apple green, please. And bangs.

introduction to... everything

2008-08-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

So, I'm not exactly a blogging type of person. In the past, that is. Today's a new day! I'm going to try my hand at this and we'll see where we get. I think I'll have to set myself an alarm to remind me to post something here every few days! Prettying up the page may help... I think I'll go look for a template that's a wee bit more inspiring. ::wave and smile::